60 percent to a cure.

As anyone that ever read this blog knows, I hate days that are the 13th. It reminds me of one of my personal "never ever going to forget the instant that....". days. That being said September 13th is my all time favorite day. It beats Christmas and Thanksgiving and my birthday months.

.

September 13, 2004 was the day that they declared Mary-Elizabeth to be in remission. She had been in treatment for a month and had failed the day 7 remission bone marrow. I did not understand the importance of her going into remission on that day at the time, I was just greatly relieved.

Since that date she has been through a lot. Lots of treatment, lots of side-effects, lots and lots of every thing. But then she has not been through a bone marrow transplant. These are good things.

4 more years and she will be cured.

Right now we take it one year at a time.

Do you remember where you were when?

each of us have events that are seared into our brains. Some personal some universal.


Mine:

1. The day they took my brother away to the Nampa State Home
2. The Day we left Idaho for Washington DC
3. The Day John F. Kennedy was killed
4. The Day Robert Kennedy was killed
5. The day the Space Shuttle blew up
6. The moment I realized I was pregnant
7.. The moment MEB was diagnosed
8. 911
9. the first time I tried Sushi and did not throw up.

I am always amazed at what we remember.

I just know that on 9-11 I began to apply a new rule to my life. NEVER EVER TURN ON THE TELEVISION WHEN NPR CALMLY SAYS : THERE APPEARS TO BE FIRE IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER

Conflicts in Life

It is not alright to burn Bibles or Korans
vs
We have a right to burn Bibles or Korans

This is a country built on Religious Freedom but the very people that wave the flag and demand the right to burn Korans, also do not want to have a Mosque built. The burners will trade their right to burn for a promise to limit where a place for free worship will be built. It is so confusing.

We are a country of free people. This is not Pre-civil war times when only part of the people were free. Oh, that is right women weren't people at one time.

I don't understand the thinking but grant that they have the right to think that way. Trust me the world would be very unhappy if my way of thinking was imposed on everyone.

Drip coffee, white bread and Sunny D would be banned. Fruit Stickers would have to go, ketchup in small packages would be eliminated along with the people that pull out in the intersection and wait for the light to change. See, better to be a free society.

I also hate the death penalty but it might have to instituted for bad drivers.

Package arrived.

It was big it was red it was noticed. She is happy.

The Package has not arrived.

How could it be missed. It was huge, it was red, it had Mickie Mouse on the front and back. Life is not fair sometimes. It might be in another person's box. I suggested to the child that she ask. Something she is loathed to do. But then if she wants it she will ask.

I have a more important issues. I have lost my favorite ( and only) long rain coat. If I was smart I would have more than one but it was my favorite and I have had it for about 15 years. Oh, well maybe I can find a new favorite.

Today it is raining. Even Tucker does not want to go outside.

Writing Letters

It is a lost art. I realized this morning that I never did achieve the perfect place to write. That perfect place would be a fine writing desk that has a view of an endless garden in the English Countryside. The house would be heated by multiple fire places and staffed by a group of adoring much loved servants that knew their place. There would be some mist falling while I penned long thoughtful sentences on fine parchment with a gold tipped quill pen.

Okay so back to reality. No great surface. It is covered with papers and photo's and other miscellaneous junk. The view is of a palm tree. The pen is good but the favorite pen has decided not to flow appropriately. The letters are written. Not great words but words that might bring a smile to the new group of college girls that are so happy to be in their dorms without their mothers.

My Sister says I am not reacting in a normal way.

So I guess I am not properly grieving the loss of my daughter. I have not lost her, know exactly where she is. She is happy and healthy and doing her laundry, going to class and having fun with her friends. I am working on sorting and cleaning and working on projects. Maybe in three or four years when I am done with the main floor, will miss her.

I am getting bad mother points.

I took a Snow Day

I often have moments of sheer exhaustion at being in contact with everyone. I so wish had a place that was not so connected. How do we get to the quiet place if we have Wireless, Wifi, Blackberry telephones, computers that are all hooked up. How do we get to the books or the silence when it s just all sitting there screaming at us.

I just pretended that none of it existed. I sent an e-mail to my assistant, called my mother (sort of cheating) and turned off the phone and the computer and did not look at the Blackberry.

I took a deep breath and walked the dogs, dropped some stuff off at Goodwill, returned some unneeded items to Bed Bath and Beyond and took lots of deep breaths and cleaned the top of my counter top. It is not good to spill the rice. Sadie likes it raw.

No word from the Gonzaga child she is probably studying and is sure she is going to fail but then she always thinks that because she is not a million pages ahead of herself. I just hope I helped her find a way to find the quiet.

Now What....

That is what everyone keeps asking. So I guess this is What.

There are a million and one things that need to be done. Stupid little things that always seemed to be put on the back burner like matching the socks and purging as I go. It appears that if the dark socks are as dirty as the white socks, maybe they should all go into the Goodwill bag.

The three new chairs I bought need new seat covers. I know that out in the garage the tools for that job exist. So when I get there I will feel the need to organize and not get back to the chairs but rather find things that need to go to Goodwill. It will be a mystery as to how long it will take to get back to the chairs.

I was contacted yesterday by a group that need to store a student here for a month. He is from Korea and that should be interesting. I better see if I can clear a path to the upstairs bedroom. But is he is coming then maybe I should take the rug I was going to put up there to be cleaned and then send the one that is up there to Goodwill.

Child update: No news, I think that is good news.

No Need......

No need: for cereal, peach yogurt, bread.

Get to buy: turmeric, cardamom, gaueram (sp) marsala...

Indian Cooking here we come.

It would still be nice to need to buy peach yogurt.

Final Separation has occurred

I took Tucker and a few things to Mary-Elizabeth before I left Spokane. He ran up to her in excitement and the remembered he was mad at her and turned around and went to the tree and peed and refused to acknowledge her. He is mad.

They had lots planned for the kids, she had a meeting, I had to get over the pass, less it snow. I felt so good leaving her there and she will do so well as school starts and her life settles for this next chapter.

Puppies are fine, house is clean, but it is strangely quiet. I think it is weird. She has been gone for long periods of time before but this is a different quiet. I have never had the need to fill the quiet before but now it seems to be filled. I will work on that issue after this cup of coffee is gone and the dogs are walked and I head back to work.

I know that I am not done being a parent but it has been quiet a ride, a very successful one. Separation will be do us both good. I am fixing my first ever Indian meal at home tonight

They are all gone.... Whitney is at Loyola-Marymont, Laura is at Linfield, and Meb is at Gonzaga.

Good things are going to be happening......

She did not contact me yesterday

She found out her meal card did not have breakfast on it. We fixed it. She continued her journey. I am going to drop by, MAYBE....

Launch Day

The count down is complete. The New Student Orientation has begun. Since Mary-Elizabeth has been on campus since Monday there was no need for usual unpacking.

As I was waiting for Bridge to be done, I had some time to observe proper move-in behavior and what needs to be moved. First, no one, and I mean no one seems to be able to come to college without a fridge. I am still firmly on the "are you kidding me, walk down the hall and us the floor fridge" but that rocket (keeping with the launch theme) has clearly left the pad.

I watched for about 25 minutes as huge vehicles full of huge stuff drove by. I was aghast to see the 50" flat screen sail by. I did a quick mental tour of M-E's room and could not remember a portion of the wall that was big enough for such an item. Maybe they just drive around campus to give the other's something to work towards. A pad that is big enough to house the "50" TV.

We did some shopping, had the all important Sonic Lunch, stopped by the ink store, and then she was more than ready to head back to the dorm for a nap. I asked if we were done and she said I had to go back to campus on Sunday, with Tucker.

While the rocket has launched, it certainly has not separated. As I recall, that is a particularly tense time.

Day 2...... Real Orientation

The kids left Marion, the dorm they have been staying in for the last few days. There has been virtual radio silence. I did important things like wash the car, walk the dog and have a massage by the lady that raises Emu so she can have their oil. I don't believe that Emu can be milked.





Nothing much going on other than another full day of Real Orientation. MEB spent the night in her room. Roommate shows up today and then it really gets underway.

I am planning to have this be the big Good Bye. I will see if the newly developing college student is ready to be launched.

Love the waterfall. Great to have coffee sitting by one. I think it is too big for my house.

Day 3

Today most of her friends left in Seattle are headed to College. I was hoping to be released from orientation hell and was thinking Anne and I could drop off the fridge, say good bye and leave. Oh, no...... MOM YOU HAVE TO COME TO ORIENTATION ON FRIDAY.........

I guess I am done and she is not. The fridge has been delivered. She proclaimed that she did not have time to visit she needed to get back. I had hoped to start a fight so she would release me from Orientation Friday but then we don't always get what we hope for........

I want to go home to my quiet clean house and eat Indian food.

Day 4....Mom why are you leaving!!!!

So she has been at school since Monday night. I went to school yesterday bought books and other requirements (like a new license plate holder) and had lunch with the group. I don't know what it is but I really don't need a tour of Spokane, a tour of the campus or listen to anyone discuss curriculum...

She would like some laundry detergent. I am taking a trip to the campus today. It might be the last one. We shall see. I really am trying to leave her. She is holding on tight and is mad at me for not wanting to be there.

For all your Holy Water Needs and Wants.

Day 5

Her dorm room is set up. She has met some really interesting people. She will spend until Friday night with the Bridge Group. There are 49 kids from other backgrounds are as scared as she is about starting.

I can report that she was very pleased with her room's set up. When she was done she looked at me and said:

"Mommy, I have a dorm room"....... That was a moment. I asked if she was surprised and she said that there was a time she was not sure she would ever have one.....

College Move in Day.

So she is doing the final packing. A stop at Walgreens and then Staples or one of those places and then Madonna Hall. 3 hours of move in, an then a meeting and barbecue. Then she and the group go off for their bonding time. The next time I am expected is a breakfast but will be passing on that for sleeping in for a bit. I will then meet with her for some book buying and a few "parent seminars" Should be interesting. She is caught in that excited and dreading time. So the only solution is to find a Sonic and have a hot dog. I hear there is one by the school and it should be fun.

There will be pictures.

These are some of the people she will miss.

day 6

Some local shopping today. She still has to finish Picture of Dorian Gray.

Her response, make a shopping list, making cookies and sleeping in.

She must be a teenager.