Dad's Desk.

I should have taken a picture but don't seem to have one.   I promise to do so.  I just returned from Eugene and spent a fair amount of time with my dad's tax stuff at his desk.  He had everything organized.  I had gathered all the 1099's and W-2's and all that stuff.  I could have finished it all in one sitting but I think I had to return, time and time again. I think Dad is still near his desk.  He loved his desk.  I don't quite remember when it came to be at the house but we have had it since Idaho.  David was the only one that would sit on Dad's lap while he paid the bills.  David does not remember but he is the one that will continue to have the desk.

I know it is going to be at the house a while so when I return, I will find another task that will require some time at the desk. 

Mom is doing better.  She is picking out colors for the house.  Sort of apricot.  We shall see.

So Do you Think I should Worry?

I had been warned that AARP had me in their data base for at least a decade before they mailed me my first invitation.  I knew the moment I was moving towards 50 the card would present itself. 

I was not prepared for the invitation to attend an open house for an assisted living facility.  That took me by surprise.  As I think about it, I am sure they think I should be putting Mother there.  I wonder what she would think about that.......

Who Knows

Hard to tell, life is unpredictable.  I don't seem to be able to get control of things.  Life is such a surprise.  I didn't see that coming.  Boy you could see that coming.....  Can you believe it.....

Ivan Doig, See Runners.  

Life is mostly freehand.

Dad's birthday and Les Miserables

Dad always said that one of his most favorite of books was Les Miserable.  Specifically the unabridged version.  For reasons that are not clear to me, it is almost impossible to find.  A week or so ago I obtained it and began reading it.  At first I thought I had the wrong copy because the beginning was very different.  Duuuuuh, I had never read the whole book.  I persevered and am beginning to realize what a huge affect this book had on Dad.  I am wondering when he read it but it was a book that shaped his entire life.  This passage made me cry last night.  I am sure that Dad was a young man when he first read it but this certainly described our wonderful and great Father.  He would have been 80 today.  He would not have wanted anything but he would have loved all the calls he received and would be pleased that I was finally reading the the UNABRIDGED version of his book:  To DAD

At the first view, and to one who saw him for the first time, he was nothing more than a good man.  But if one spent a few hours with him, and saw him in a thoughtful mood, little by little the good man became transfigured, and became ineffably imposing; his large serious forehead, rendered notable by his white hair, became noble also by mediation; majesty was developed from this goodness, yet the radiance of goodness remained; and one felt something of the emotion that he would experience in seeing a smiling angel slowly spreading his wings without ceasing to smile.  Respect, unutterable respect, penetrated you by degrees, and made its way to your heart; and you felt that you had before you one of those strong, tried, and indulgent souls, where the thought is so great it cannot be other than gentle.

Oh dear, I can tell this is going to be a hard day.  I just hope Dad will get a chance to have a chat with Victor Hugo.........

bit more sun and a little forward movement

So, almost a month ago.  Tomorrow is the one month point but it is also the start of Chinese New Year, the year of the Rabbit.  Several weeks ago I proclaimed that this was the true New Year and that we were going to leave the bad and unhappy things behind .  It was silly to change the calendar so I am embracing my former life heritage and going to  return to the ever changing Chinese New Year.

Given my proclamation, my outdoor lights are not up way past the holiday time, they are waiting for the New Year.  I realize the Santa lights might be not very seasonal but then I am sure they were made in China.

Just thinking about this last month is making me sad.  I am so missing our morning conversations, his ranting about the unfair in the world.  I guess I am entering the secondary sadness.  Yes it was a good death, yes we have wonderful complete and warm memories but the memory making has stopped.  We have to be sustained on those misty molecules that float around in our brain that are triggered by a sound, a song, a poem,smell or a certain shade of yellow. 

Oh dear, maybe mascara will not be the right choice today.

I finally openned the Cards

If you open and read the sympathy cards then you know that it is real.  They are easily spotted in the mail, large, pastel and they are deadly.  Oh, they are deadly.  Poetry is very much the way to go.  Poetry enters the soul in a way that is subtle and confined but sneaks in with great skill.  Sort of like water in hard rock. 

I thought the time for tears has come to an end.  I was wrong.  They are very very near the surface.

Breathing, a necessary function

The table, we always gather here for pancakes.  Dad's sour dough pancakes have been cause for feeding the masses.  He did it so well.  He was proud of his pancakes and they were a hit.  Always sour, always filling, always a great expression of love.  He taught Mary-Elizabeth to make them so the tradition will spread and be maintained.  I have had issues with how they are made but will continue to try.

Dad's Obituary.

John M. Lanham, M.D., 79


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Posted: Thursday, January 6, 2011 8:20 am
Updated: 12:51 am, Thu Jan 13, 2011.



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Feb. 9, 1931 - Jan. 3, 2011



A new black hole was created on Jan. 3, 2011, when John M. Lanham sat down for the last time in his chair to read the Wall Street Journal and have a morning cup of coffee. During his life, he did what we all should do... he lived a full, eventful and fruitful life. He sought adventure, cherished the small things, sold his treasures for a profit, and grew the best potatoes and garlic in Eugene, Ore. Our mom, his wife of 59 years, Mary R. Lanham, will miss his love, companionship, his endless appreciation of most of her cooking and his tolerance of her catalog shopping. Mea will miss their long walks and quiet mornings.





Dad was born in Ashland, Neb., in 1931, the youngest of five. The family moved to the Idaho-Washington area during the Great Depression. Those years carved him into the person he became and we all valued. He graduated from the College of Idaho in 1952, and began teaching in Riggins. After a stint in the Army in Germany, he returned to teach and coach. He entered George Washington University Medical School in 1958 and graduated in 1962. After an internship and residency in Ogden, Utah, he started a family practice in North Idaho where he treated and cared for his many patients until 1976  when he quit to milk his daughter's cow, Butter Fat, and think about his future. In November 1976, the entire family moved to Midland, Mich., when he went to work for Dow Chemical.



While with Dow, he worked as a plant physician, an assistant Corporate Medical Director, Medical Director for California, Canada, Europe, Mid-East, Africa and finally, as Corporate Medical Director. He retired to Eugene to become a purveyor of fine pre-used items.



Father, Dad, John, Grampa John, Hey You and How Much Do You Want for This... is gone. He will be so, so missed as we learn to live in a world devoid of his wisdom, his snide sense of humor, his love for mankind, his intolerance for Republicans, his love of good books, good basketball and, of course, his sourdough pancakes.



Not being one for ceremony, his ashes are to be scattered as soon as Sally Ann Lanham Esq, Seattle, Wash., Bellelizabeth Foster MD, Marshfield, Wis., Alex Earl Lanham MFA, Eugene, and David Robert Lanham DFP, Visalia, Calif., can "calmly discuss the matter in an adult way so as not to upset anyone or cause strife." (Actually Mom will make the final decision.) Flowers are not necessary. In lieu of such things, plant some daffodils or a tree, or send some money to your favorite charity that cares for the homeless.



Written by: Sally Ann Lanham

2010 Christmas Letter. Finally......

2010


Gains and Losses

Gains:

Diploma with Honors from Holy Names Academy. They mean it when they say time flies. Time for wonderful celebrations of many young women heading out in to the world. Good Job everyone.

Entry into Gonzaga University, new friends , boys, and a new understanding of snow and cold and ice.

Sven Houdini, a black Norwegian Forest Kitten. Tucker, the Scottie, is still trying to figure it all out. Houdini is winning.

Time with great friends from many parts and times of my life.

Losses:

A wonderful daughter to her college experience.

Sadie, our noisy, loud, bossy Westie. She went to her grave well groomed and fully vaccinated.

Weight.

In any year that the gains out rank the losses, life is spectacular.

Health, Love, Peace, Friendship and Hope. These we wish for you

Home and Feeling Great

So I am home.  I have been up since 5:30 am.  Child sent to my bed and I am antsy as hell.  I guess I need to go for a walk but when I headed out the door, it was doing that cold rainy pellets spitting thing.  Oh  well, some catching up will have to do.


So I guess it is Thursday and this is day 6 post surgery.  I am suffering for a whole list of things I can not do.  Driving is the biggest obstacle.  I mentioned feeling up to it and was soundly scolded.  I want to go do things.  I feel great.  I think Felicity, 3440 grams, was sapping my energy.  I read all this post hysterectomy crap and there are long passages about listening to music and reading good books. 


We heal very nicely in this family. I will henceforth try to not:  walk up stairs, do laundry, unload the dishwasher, lift anything heavier than 10 lbs and sit and read and watch movies and listen to soothing music to up my immune system.....  what a bother.

 I am not a good patient. I want to do things and get things done. I am wondering where and when I lost that ability. 

The Mail.

I want lovely Christmas cards and pictures.  I want packages and fun surprises to arrive.  I want catalogs that have a wonderful array of items that I never knew I needs but can not live without.  (I asked Santa for an Avocado slicer since I only have knives and not an item that takes up endless space in my 4 pathetic drawers.) 

Things I don't want:  Hoffner Fischer and Harvey.  ( Catholic Funeral Directors)

Yes it has a lovely picture of Mother Teresa but it is being recycled.

December 17th is really Happening

She is coming out on the 17th.  2- 3 hours of surgery.   I know you are all disappointed but my bikini days are over.  It has to go.... What ever it is. 

It is not the problem right now.  Christmas cards are not done. House is a disaster.  Laundry is not done.  This is a horrible time to have surgery.  I guess last time I shipped Mary-Elizabeth to Mexico with her father.  That made Christmas easier.  This will be interesting. 

last day of work.  Then I can focus on what needs to happen before Friday.

December 17th

7:45 A.M.  Should be home by Monday or Tuesday.  Boy do I have a lot to do before that.......

It has been a horrible Month

So Sadie died, Mom had back surgery (but is recovering nicely), I am not getting my knee replaced but instead am working on being scheduled to remove Felicity d'Fibroid.  Yes, Fibroid is an ugly sounding word and it appears to be a big, ugly fibroid.  Sort of the size of a small watermelon.  No a personal sized watermelon.  A small normal sized watermelon.  Maybe we should have a pool as to the weight.  I am hoping 11- 13 pounds at least.

I had my first scan on the 2nd of November but here is how it goes:
1. See Dr. Scott- he feels mass and thinks a scan would be good.
2. Go  for an ultra sound with a full bladder and no food at 1:30 p.m.  Try to laugh when they tell you that the prep was not necessary. 
3. See Dr. Pam on 8th, she orders a CT with contrast.  She works are getting a surgeon.  Two names received by 11/12/10.  Start making calls to surgeons.  There is a process you know. Attend additional ultra sound (pelvic this time)
4.  November 15, 2010 see Dr. Scott.  He says Felicity needs to come out. She is one of two things and both are not good. 
5. Leave early on November 16 for Mom's back surgery in Eugene.  Go to the wrong hospital, only once.  Receive call from Dr. Anne Bridge's office.  A cancellation.  Great, I am in Eugene. I have to keep original appointment on the 30th of November.
6.  Return home on November 19th.  Spend time on the phone making appointments with Surgeon at Original OB/GYN office for Monday.
7. See Meeghan McKeever.  She agrees out, now but concurs with my thoughts that I should get my hair done first.  She wants a a gynecology oncologist at the surgery.  She talks to him and he decides I should wait three months. He wants to see me.
8. Monday the 22nd I meet with William Peters (Buck).  He examines me and discovers that maybe he is wrong about the waiting requirement.  He is impressed with the size of Felicity and agrees it has to come out.  He wants me to see his associate Pamela Paley.  She does Robot surgery.  She is not available until the 2nd of December but they schedule me for surgery on the 17th. 
9. November 30th.  I finally see Anne Bridges and she agrees that Felicity d'Fibroid must come out but she can not give me a firm date until there is a call made to the "surgery scheduler".  If you thought you heard the sonic boom that would really be the venting of my frustration with our medical system. 
10.  I see Pamela Paley on Thursday. 

 If she will do this with the Robot I will be having surgery on the 17th of December.  If she won't then I am going to choose the doctor that can do it the fastest. 

So let's recap:
Three scans
Three visits to the Family Doctor (20.00 each visit.)
Three visits to the Specialists (35.00 each visit.)
Still no firm answers.  So more news at a 11:00. Eventually

Sadie 10-12-99 to 11-11-10

Burying Sadie in the back yard was not on my to do list but sometimes things just have to be done. 

Please know that she went to Doggie Heaven with no fleas, haircut of less than a week and completely vaccinated.  She is wrapped in a lovely piece of pink flannel that was supposed to be for pillow cases for my sister.  But I figured she needed something soft and warm. She hated to be cold.

Oh my, I am so so sad.  She was just acting funky this morning and I stopped by the vet to see if they could take a quick look. She seemed fine there and so I made the decision to keep her in the car.  I was only going to be there a few hours and it would be quiet.   When I returned I looked in and she appeared to be sleeping.  I then realized she was not breathing. She was a bit warm and had been sleeping.

I had an appointment so I sat for a moment trying to take it all in.  Found a towel in the car, wrapped her up and then went to the meeting.


I called Mary-Elizabeth and told her I was driving around with a dead Sadie in the car.  I was crying and in her best MEB way she tried to make me feel better. 


So I came home in the dark and the rain and went to the garage.  Found a spot in the garden and buried her with the help of Jim.  He was greatly helpful and worried and sad and surprised and sad.  We cried and dug.


I found a lovely piece of pink flannel  that was supposed to be pillow cases for my sisterand wrapped her up. Tucker did not want to come near her.  She was placed in the ground and gently covered with earth. 


I am going to plant a whole bunch of daffodils and a tree on the spot and she will bring brightness and shade for years to come.




Oh, she will be missed, her barking, her instance on being boss, her need to have a treat all the time. 


We are a bit teary and will be sad for along time. 

More later.  Here are the last pictures taken of her..

Felicity d'Fibroid

Well we know we like to names things in this family.  So Felicity d'Fibroid has made an appearance in my "Abdominal Cavity".  She might have been there a while, maybe 15 months.  She needs to come out, sooner rather than later and will be having her last run in the  next couple of weeks. She is 18 cm by 18 cm by 17 cms...... we are talking huge.


Lots of questions still:  Do I get to keep my girl parts? Do I want to keep my girl parts?  Do we have to do cutting or are there other ways to get Felicity out? Do we need to worry about her distant cousin Larinda d Leiomyosarcoma? 


Like any medical process, there is a long series of actions leading up to the decision.  I am going to fight any more tests but then I might loose.  It seems to go like this:  1. Ultra Sound, Ct Scan, MRI.  I am starting to think that we love to use our machines.  The justification is that we do the least invasive first.  But instead of having once test, I get to have three.  Hummmmmmmm.


Surgery will be at Swedish.  Doctor to be determined.  Off to walk Greenlake because I am pretending nothing is wrong.

Dear Mary-Elizabeth;

November has arrived and we have been raking leaves.  You have been spared from the job because you are at college and they have people that do those sorts of things. AS I was raking I recall having a meal at Margaret's and Rory taking after you will a rake. I too the rake and you and Rory and we raked leaves.  It is a good memory.  There are lots and lots of those.  I think what you will find as you work yourself through life, you will have a series of memories that come and go.  They come to the surface when you the right trigger. 

I am experiencing a few of those right now with the "we can see you have a mass but we don't know what it is, let's do a few tests and see what we can do. 

 I think it is pretty easy.  Lets just go take it out (Melissa deMass) and call it good.  Then we can figure out what it is.  Moving the Medical system forward like trying to contain 10 gallons of wet noodles that have spilled on the floor.

Monday at 8:45 a.m., I meet with the doctor, she orders a CT and we discuss surgeons.  I work on some things I think should be handled today like planting the Purple cone Spruce and light another candle or two.

Sweetie, I just think this is an unexpected bump.  Good things: no knee rehab during winter and I loose lots of inches around my waist.  Bad, I cant think of any and that is a good thing.

Love Mom

I am a Chickedee but we are on different schedules

So I watched the chickadees yesterday as they took seed after seed from the feeders.  They were very busy.  I started to notice that they kept coming to the palm tree which sits outside my window.  They would hop around and then would be working a seed into the soft spongy bark.  They especially like the little pockets that surround the tree.  

Because of the nasty high winds and staggered down pouring rain, I used the nervous energy of Jim to work on the basement.  We dug deep into the corner and pulled out all the boxes, the books, the mysterious items that have collected for 18 years.  Moved them, sorted them and identified them.  Oh dear, I am any of the following:

1. A pack rat
2. A squirrel
3. A Chickadee

The difference is that I have now determined that it is spring.  It is time to clean out the old sun flower seeds. 

Parent's Week-end is not for the Children

Oh, no the first visit to college is not for the kids.  They are not homesick.  They really only want a minute or two, some food and then a chance to continue with their new live.  They fess up to some homesickness, say things like "yes I think about you every day".   They are polite enough to roll their eyes such that you don't see it.  I went to see ME this week-end and it was fun.  Dinner with her peeps, Coffee with her peeps, breakfast with more peeps, then some Mom and Daughter boot shopping. 
Time to go visit the craziness that is Liberty Lake, two kittens, four dogs and a great movie.
Lots of sleep, Sourdough  pancakes, trees to water, beautiful sunny days and crisp cold (Ice on the Birdbath). I so loved this time of year.

As I headed West, I thought about the week-end.  It really was about me finding out that she was doing fine.  Okay there have been a few issues with grades, a guy that sometimes makes her sad, but there is so much going on, some great people taking care of the kids, giving them a place to stretch those wings.  It is such a great feeling. 

I don't think she needed to see me as much as I needed to see her.  The rolls are starting to change.  Remember when they were wee little toddlers.  They would stumble or encounter a problem and make a beeline back to you for comfort. 

I made a beeline to her to just check-in and see if she was okay.  Life is good, the world is safe.  (unless I think about what I saw in Social Network and then she has to come home tomorrow and live in the basement forever.)

Adventures in Other Lands.

So...... sometimes there are things that happen and unless you are somehow connected, you miss out. the Kimchi crisis is one of those very things.   Unless anyone has been following the problems with crops this year, there is a Napa cabbage shortage in Korea.  This might seem like a small thing but Napa Cabbage is the source of Kimchi...  Much maligned fermented cabbage, sort of hot saurekraut. (I must confess I am a known maligner.)

So here is the story.  I have been hosting a series of Korean students attending a college in the University district.  They have been very happy to eat what ever I prepare but they all have tentatively asked for Kimchi.

Well I sort of resisted the temptation to take the little darlings to Owejimia and let them see all the things that are available for their consumption.  I  also heard these statements from Young Kim and Kujo that kimche was very very expensive and there was a supply problem in Korea.  NPR confirmed the rumor and then the Seattle Times printed the article.  http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2013073788_kimchi05.html

Well....  Who knew that a riot could be started if the President suggested Kimchi could be made from cheaper round cabbage.  I guess that means I have to give it a try.

Google and Wikepedia are our friends.  Martha has a good spin.  So, review of recipes, look at the pictures, go to the Korean Tofu House, taste some and dive in.

One Napa Cabagge. (79 cents a pound), ginger, garlic, Japanese radish, green onions, red pepper flakes, fish sause and a prayer.

Mix it all together and then wait.  Opps, maybe the red pepper was supposed to ground and not in flakes.  Did I soak the leaves in salt water long enough? The fish sauce was Thai, will that make a difference?  If I do this again what kinds of pepper should I use?  I wonder if I can do this with Chipolte instead of red?  Should I add bean sprouts and water chestnuts?  Should I find the sourse for aging jars? 

See this could be a very slippery slope! 

So the tasting will be next week. 
On a sweeter note the final fruit for the fruitcake has been gathered and is ready to soak. 

All in All life is good, unless you open my fridge and take a gander.