Thoughts and worries

"Daylight will peep through a very small hole."

I found that saying today and I should have tatooed it on my forearm in preparation for a test. Each time I think we are out of the fog and heading to clear skys and warm days, a hook comes a pulls me back around to the world of confusion and concern and worry.

I guess the day started with Dana Reves dying. What is that poor 13 year old boy going to do, both parents dead in less than a year? Then I trot down, (trot might be a bit overstating it) to the Make-A-Wish office. Great place. Happy people, lots of fun things to look at on the walls, lots of new toys to give to the children. I dropped off a quilt for their auction this week-end. If they raise a bit of money I won't worry about the cost of M-E's wish. I saw the pictures and realized that I knew some of the kids and some had since died.

See, in my tiny little mind if we made it to the "Wish" we would be home free. We would be able to sail on past any other scary or tricky stuff with great aplomb. My worries would be over. I am so silly some times. It just yanked me into dispair so fast. She looks great, there are not many bumps in the road but the big
R

is alive an living over my head.

I need to find some happy pills. It will be alright in the morning. I always wakeup on the positive side of the bed but sometimes the other side is so so scary.