It has taken me three years to realize that since August 14th, 8:35 a.m 2004, while sitting the deck in Lake Chelan drinking coffee and talking with my friend Judy Sommerfeld, we have lived in an alternated universe, CANCER WORLD . More precisely, CHILDHOOD CANCER WORLD. It is a parallel universe. No one can look at us and know we have been given the secret pass words. There is a whole world that is way to familiar of our secret language and shares our fears and our hopes and our sadness.
In CCW, there is a different reality. It comes with a greater appreciation for each day, moment and laugh that comes from a child. People can read about it and listen to stories about it. They can empathise and grieve and feel the same helplessness that each of us feel. But no matter what, they can only really "imagine" what it is like. The best description in the world does not explain the true flavor of a ripe mango or bite of crisp lettuce. I always remember lots of my friends have lost parents. I realize I will not really understand that particular pain until I have the same experience.
Those of us in CCW have a different understanding of what is happening with the little girl Gloria Straus. She is in ICU having been in a medically induced coma for more than a week right now. A very sensitive and involved Seattle Times Reporter Jerry Brewer, has been writing about the story. He is posting a couple of times a day about her plight and the paper has been following the story on a pretty regular basis. Gloria and her family ran out of treatment options in April and are now relying on faith, prayer and pure determination.
Gloria has had 5 months of some ups and downs. She has been home and able to be with friends and family. She has been able to run and jump and play and just laugh. She has had five miracle months.
She is on a number of machines and tubes and had her heart restarted while in route to the hospital. I am sure lots of people are saying "enough is enough" . It is something those that watch say and do so with only the most gentle kindness. Only the family can make that decision. If that is the final decision, it will be made when they have had the time to know it is right for them. I have never had to make that decision. My most trying decision was what kind of juice to try and entice M-E to drink. We always had options and hope and alternate protocols. While we inhabit the same world, we are on different floors.
Apparently each member of the family has had a dream about Gloria and they see her walking. She is visiting them all. She has even visited Jerry. I do wonder if it her way of telling them she will be okay once she is released from this part of the journey. Visions are very much a part of Cancer World. I think we are a people that used to be more open to them and were guided by those very important messages that came to us in dreams and during special waking times. Once you have been knocked out of our first lives, they become possible again because everything is so so upside down.
Mary-Elizabeth had a vision.
I can finally, finally talk about the healing vision M-E had at her Healing Ceremony. She was finally able to deliver the message to Rick Boyle and so here goes.
Gerald King, the Chief Medicine Man, told M-E that she might see things during the ceremony. She settled into her seat, Buffalo, Deer, Mountain lion, hides, covered with corn pollen and sacred soil and the chanting began. Waves and Waves of repetitive sounds, sound I would love to be able to listen to on a regular basis. After the ceremony, after the tea, the blue corn meal mush, after the feast, M-E was very very quiet. I asked her if she was okay. I figured it was just nerves and exhaustion. We had done a lot and had been many places.
In the evening she finally began to talk.
Mom, I saw something.
Where?
During the Ceremony. It was sort of scary.
What was it?
(Insert some soothing word, words of encouragement, general platitudes about how this is normal while freaking out and wondering what was in the corn pollen.)
I saw the moon. Very clear and full. I saw Joseph Boyle and he talked to me.
(Gulp, okay, act like this was a normal vision and ask)
What did he say?
He told me he was okay and to tell his dad that he was fine. He told me that he was always with them and that they should not worry. Then he told me that he had been with me and that I would be okay.
What did he look like?
He was older, like 12 or 13.
Mom..... tears, Mom........
What does a mom say. I don't remember what I said but most likely my usual.
Thanks for telling me, it is okay. Everything will be all right.... Rock her back and forth, Rock her back and forth.
It has been a year since all of that happening. I tried to get her to talk with Mr. Boyle. I certainly would like to hear from my child that had died. She was finally able to tell him.
She was testing Joseph B. to see if he meant what he said. I think her ability to verbalize the message means she is starting to believe the part of the message that meant for her. She is going to be alright.
Visions and messages have great power.
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