But my reaction to this simple sore throat is not reasonable. Just taking her to Urgent Care and then to pick up meds made me very very grumpy.
She is currently in bed with a very sore throat, a fever and no desire to move. It will be fine. I will make a quick trip over the mountains and through the woods but it will be fine. She is having her first real nasty bug since being released from her transplant docs. Her immune system is less than that of a 4-year-old. She is now considered "fully vaccinated" but we don't know if she has titers to the vaccines. Yeah, did you know they can run a simple blood test and let you know if you need a booster? One of many secret tests we learned about during the last 11 years.
What I have learned from this experience is that my "okayness" is veiled behind a thin sheet of wet tissue paper. All of the fear, anxiety, irrational worry and the rest is held back by a few atoms spinning around a few molecules and fibers.
The question will be, how long before I am able to bounce back. How long does this gripping fear last?
Hoping it goes before the last turkey sandwich.
Twenty Years, Two Hundred and Forty Months, Seven Thousand Days, and Three Hundred Days. Since we started chasing Leukemia.
No comments:
Post a Comment