Spoon and Fork Misteps

My Grandmother was a Lace Table Cloth, good china, right fork kind of person. She may have been born in Oklahoma and lived on a farm but the table was always set. She was the youngest of Mary Garibaldi Barnes. Great Grandmother Mary had been the daughter of a Bergermeister in Austria and they had money. They had fled from Austria before WWI. My Great Great Grandfather was not one to have his sons scripted for a bit of stubborn infighting.

So any way, Grandma always made things special. Nice dishes, silver ( not sterling but great plate). Flowers, soup bowls, candles, well balanced, colorful nutricous meals, you get the picture. My mom, while raised by Grandma, seemed to have a bit more of the Okkie genes. She has been seen barefoot, in the snow chopping wood. She has pulled the head off her share of chickens and can make pie with the best of them. She has dishes she loves and great silver plate, and knows where the lace table cloths are. She was the one that taught me that the reason you use lace table cloths is that the food falls between the holes and you don't have to change the table cloth too often. (True story).

So, I have a bit of both. I love dishes and silverware and I appreciate the well set table. When M-E was little I started to buy her Sterling. Queen Elizabeth I by Towle, of course. I decided that she would not be without her sterling. She has three sets plus the child's set. She could care less but I am sure that Great and Great Great Grandma approve.

So, I look for her pattern on E-Bay on occasion. During the search, I have discovered the world of Sterling is very complex. I realize that I am totally uneducated and essestially nothing better than a pretender. I know nothing about proper table setting. Martha would fire me in an instant.

I have a list of sins so long that only a small portion can be shared here.

I don't have a lemon fork, further more, I don't know why the tongs are so weird.

I have a large fork but I am not certain if it is for cold meat and I am confused why I would need the cold and hot meat could not share.

I don't have a single strawberry fork and I am not certain if every one gets one or just the strawberrys.

I don't have a cracker spoon. To make matters worse, I have never had a cracker spoon. I had to be informed but a much more elegant and educated person that they are only for oyster crackers. Now what do I do about my Ritz?

The potato fork dilemma continues with the unanswered questions like, does everyone need one. Are they used only on baked potatoes could they be used on home fries also, or would home fries be served by slotted serving spoons.

Bon Bon Spoons are different than Nut Spoons. Pastry forks are different than Salad forks, oyster forks are not the same as pickle, olive or dinner. Of course there is that never ending duck egg vs chicken egg issue. You would never eat a chicken egg with a duck egg spoon. Heavens, that would require your instant departure from the "I have too much time and space to store stuff society."

Okay, there are my early morning issues.

Oh, still no ideas about Halloween. I think I will be the lady in the Orange and Green and yellow house that gives out candy. Now there is something I can handle.

Belle and Karen are expecting 6 to 8 HUNDRED children.