No Need......

No need: for cereal, peach yogurt, bread.

Get to buy: turmeric, cardamom, gaueram (sp) marsala...

Indian Cooking here we come.

It would still be nice to need to buy peach yogurt.

Final Separation has occurred

I took Tucker and a few things to Mary-Elizabeth before I left Spokane. He ran up to her in excitement and the remembered he was mad at her and turned around and went to the tree and peed and refused to acknowledge her. He is mad.

They had lots planned for the kids, she had a meeting, I had to get over the pass, less it snow. I felt so good leaving her there and she will do so well as school starts and her life settles for this next chapter.

Puppies are fine, house is clean, but it is strangely quiet. I think it is weird. She has been gone for long periods of time before but this is a different quiet. I have never had the need to fill the quiet before but now it seems to be filled. I will work on that issue after this cup of coffee is gone and the dogs are walked and I head back to work.

I know that I am not done being a parent but it has been quiet a ride, a very successful one. Separation will be do us both good. I am fixing my first ever Indian meal at home tonight

They are all gone.... Whitney is at Loyola-Marymont, Laura is at Linfield, and Meb is at Gonzaga.

Good things are going to be happening......

She did not contact me yesterday

She found out her meal card did not have breakfast on it. We fixed it. She continued her journey. I am going to drop by, MAYBE....

Launch Day

The count down is complete. The New Student Orientation has begun. Since Mary-Elizabeth has been on campus since Monday there was no need for usual unpacking.

As I was waiting for Bridge to be done, I had some time to observe proper move-in behavior and what needs to be moved. First, no one, and I mean no one seems to be able to come to college without a fridge. I am still firmly on the "are you kidding me, walk down the hall and us the floor fridge" but that rocket (keeping with the launch theme) has clearly left the pad.

I watched for about 25 minutes as huge vehicles full of huge stuff drove by. I was aghast to see the 50" flat screen sail by. I did a quick mental tour of M-E's room and could not remember a portion of the wall that was big enough for such an item. Maybe they just drive around campus to give the other's something to work towards. A pad that is big enough to house the "50" TV.

We did some shopping, had the all important Sonic Lunch, stopped by the ink store, and then she was more than ready to head back to the dorm for a nap. I asked if we were done and she said I had to go back to campus on Sunday, with Tucker.

While the rocket has launched, it certainly has not separated. As I recall, that is a particularly tense time.

Day 2...... Real Orientation

The kids left Marion, the dorm they have been staying in for the last few days. There has been virtual radio silence. I did important things like wash the car, walk the dog and have a massage by the lady that raises Emu so she can have their oil. I don't believe that Emu can be milked.





Nothing much going on other than another full day of Real Orientation. MEB spent the night in her room. Roommate shows up today and then it really gets underway.

I am planning to have this be the big Good Bye. I will see if the newly developing college student is ready to be launched.

Love the waterfall. Great to have coffee sitting by one. I think it is too big for my house.

Day 3

Today most of her friends left in Seattle are headed to College. I was hoping to be released from orientation hell and was thinking Anne and I could drop off the fridge, say good bye and leave. Oh, no...... MOM YOU HAVE TO COME TO ORIENTATION ON FRIDAY.........

I guess I am done and she is not. The fridge has been delivered. She proclaimed that she did not have time to visit she needed to get back. I had hoped to start a fight so she would release me from Orientation Friday but then we don't always get what we hope for........

I want to go home to my quiet clean house and eat Indian food.

Day 4....Mom why are you leaving!!!!

So she has been at school since Monday night. I went to school yesterday bought books and other requirements (like a new license plate holder) and had lunch with the group. I don't know what it is but I really don't need a tour of Spokane, a tour of the campus or listen to anyone discuss curriculum...

She would like some laundry detergent. I am taking a trip to the campus today. It might be the last one. We shall see. I really am trying to leave her. She is holding on tight and is mad at me for not wanting to be there.

For all your Holy Water Needs and Wants.

Day 5

Her dorm room is set up. She has met some really interesting people. She will spend until Friday night with the Bridge Group. There are 49 kids from other backgrounds are as scared as she is about starting.

I can report that she was very pleased with her room's set up. When she was done she looked at me and said:

"Mommy, I have a dorm room"....... That was a moment. I asked if she was surprised and she said that there was a time she was not sure she would ever have one.....

College Move in Day.

So she is doing the final packing. A stop at Walgreens and then Staples or one of those places and then Madonna Hall. 3 hours of move in, an then a meeting and barbecue. Then she and the group go off for their bonding time. The next time I am expected is a breakfast but will be passing on that for sleeping in for a bit. I will then meet with her for some book buying and a few "parent seminars" Should be interesting. She is caught in that excited and dreading time. So the only solution is to find a Sonic and have a hot dog. I hear there is one by the school and it should be fun.

There will be pictures.

These are some of the people she will miss.

day 6

Some local shopping today. She still has to finish Picture of Dorian Gray.

Her response, make a shopping list, making cookies and sleeping in.

She must be a teenager.

Day 7

We left Seattle about 9:20 a.m. She had been ready since 5:30. I was a bit behind. The only reason we did not kill each other is that about 7:30 she went to the car and went to sleep. I drove, she slept.

She was asleep when we went crested the hill in Spokane and I could see St. Al's. To Quote the Great Brigham Young "This is the Place"

After 36 hours she finally slept last night. Oh, yes, and we have Tucker with us. Why not there simply is not enough confusion with a house with 4 dogs. Tucker has asked for a big porch on the top of the hill so he can look out and appear to be a grand master of all he sees.

Day 8

She was up all night and we are leaving in 5 minutes. She refuses to leave Tucker so he is going to Gonzaga. Maybe he could become a Service dog.....

Day 9.... She is finally packing.

We all gathered at the Breshocks in their lovely newly created pergola. The girls abandoned us at 9:00 for other adventures.

Mary-Elizabeth was to call her dad if she got in trouble. Whitney was to call her Aunt and Laura decided to call me. No calls were received. Life is good.

We will be almost to Moses Lake by this time tomorrow.

Day 10 Text Book Shopping

Found the list, found the class schedule, found the multiple web sites and then did not find the most expensive Chemistry Text, realized that it is cheaper to buy the 952 page calculus book because that is a 4 semester class and then decided to watch Deep Space Nine.

Really, was college always this complicated or what?

Oh the car survived the day with Madeline and ME running around.. or driving so I have to drive her to Spokane in 48 hours. Boy do we have lots to do.

This is not sad Sadie.

Day 11 Time for College When She asks for the Car

Lets be very clear. This is a child that refuses to drive. She does have a permit but she does not have a license and is now claiming that she can't find her glasses that she did not need in order to pass her drivers permit getting process.

So after having the car serviced and not having to buy brakes or new transmission seal or any of that other pricey stuff she and Madeline are going to have a last day in the city. I guess if she wrecks the car then she does won't have to pack so long because she will be a train person and have two bags.

The girls look calm and safe right???

Day 12 of ? and Roller Derby

I am officially confused. ME spent the week-end with her dad. Ana and the kids have made an emergency trip to Mexico. Her mom is sick. Never good. So ME and her dad went to see a couple of movies without any interference. I planted a tree and cooled the house off as the temp climbed.

Dinner with friends, walks with the dogs, thought about doing things. Thought better of it.

We did go to dinner with Lisa and Rachel before going to see Kira at RollerDerby. We found Lynnwood, a specific location in Lynnwood and then had to talk ourselves into the rink because it was sold out. It was a fund raiser and when I pulled the cash for 4 people out of my purse we received green bands.

I discovered I need to work on my "how to be a roller derby fan".

1. Learn the rules. Appears to be lots of going round and round.

2. Learn what team your niece is on

3. Know her "derby name" since real names are not used

4. Buy a pair of fishnets stalkings

5. Make a sign to support your team.

6. Grow a mullet so you blend in to the time warp.

7. Be concerned at how much your daughter loves it.

Whoo knew.

(Should I bring another Scottie home?) Can we say empty nest syndrom?

Day 13.....

I am wondering when ME is gone if the Laundry will be done and the house neat and tidy. I am sure it will be.

I am wondering if the laundry was ever done?
Does Laundry have to be done?
s Lori right that there are 4 steps to Laundry?
It is not enough to wash and dry?
Will there be a class in Laundry at college for Mary-Elizabeth?
Will she somehow learn this skill in college?
Did I fail as a mother by not teaching her how to do laundry?
Is she the reason I can't do Laundry?
Does anyone care about Laundry?

Now I must now go do Laundry.

Day 14..... Friday the 13th of August 2004 and 2010

We both really tried. We both woke up with giant amounts of anxiety. Mine sits in the middle of my chest, ME's is in her stomach. I got up, I drank coffee. I went to work and could not stand to be there but did good work and solved a huge problem. I called ME and she came to the office and we did the best thing I could think to do within the time we had. ME was going to go with her dad to get glasses and it sometimes is hard to travel to places and back on a very perfect sunny Friday.

We went to Palisades for a late lunch and did it all. From Salad to Blackberry Sorbet from Olympic Mountain Creamery.... There is something to be said for a self induced food coma. We talked, she texted to find out if Whitney remembered this day in our personal history, we laughed and joked and ate and watched the birds at the marina. Seagull, Crow, Osprey, King Fisher, Blue heron (he was was sunning himself and was so relaxed and joyful he brought his wings down and exposed the underside to the sun.) I listened to the four middle aged men at the table next to me scoff at their long time stay at home spouses new jobs. ( I should have given them all my card.)

It was a long lunch, a good lunch and one we will repeat on every Friday the 13th of August.

Six years ago we stumbled on a path in the woods and we were forced to take the path less traveled. We have come to that place again and are so so lucky and blessed to be able to take the ordinary road with everyone else.

Time to take the dogs for a hair cut and to the world's best scone and coffee shop.

Day 15...... New Sport Invented

She saw more Shooting Stars than I did.

Day 16

So the day started out fine. I was at work at a regular time. I did work while there. I went to lunch with a client/good referral source. I headed back to the office and then it happened.

I stopped in an Aveda storehttp://www.aveda.com/index.tmpl?ngextredir=1 and was handed mint tea and given a hand massage while purchasing three small items for the the tackle box project. I was sucked in the store next door for soaphttp://www.loccitan.com/. At that point I found I had two minuscule bags to carry back to the office. The obvious next step was the Coach Store. http://www.coach.com/

Yes, I am weak.

Yes, my daughter is jealous.

Yes I am trying to fill the hole created by her upcoming departure to college.

Yes Cocaine or ice cream would be cheaper.... But it was Purple.

Day 17...... What was I thinking

Evidently if you are from the Midwest (defined by me as any place between Snohomish Pass and the Brooklyn Bridge) one receives a tackle box for Graduation. It is sometimes empty and sometimes full of useful things that reside in the various junk drawers of the house. Tacks, band aides, etc. I was dully chastised for not even knowing that it is the foremost item to be given to the high school graduate. I thought the heating pad was the gift of choice.

Well I am not a slow learner. Boxes having been purchased, they will be filled. We will catch up to the mid-west.

Note to those of my vintage. As you walk out of Fred Meyer with three tackle boxes, the vintage boys notice and suggest a fishing date. Who knew a tackle box had such a lure..... get the joke.

Day 18 Packing is not happening.

Life should be simple forward motion. It looked easy when we were kids. I think Mary-Elizabeth is stuck on the couch with her Iphone.

I have decided that if I find her there and the house shows no activity this evening, I am going to move the couch. Maybe that will help her pack.

I think this door is too much for Ballard.

Day 19

We were invited to a great party at a house on Lake Washington. Blue Angels up close and personal. I suggested we all meet at the audiologist today because it was so so loud. Mary-E spoke with a gentleman that was an engineer. They spoke for a very long time about the areas and he explained her program to her in a way that made more sense. She is undecided about what area of engineering to go into at this point but all of the classes she takes this semester will help her with that part of her decision. Lots of areas, lots of specialties, she will have lots of choices.

One more week-end before we leave. I am planning to bring some boxes home to see if she wills start packing.

It has to fit in the stationwagon or it does not go. It will be fun to see how that works out.

Day 20......Waiting Mode

58 degrees. Blue Angles later, typical Seattle Summer. Mary-E's friends are starting to leave. Alexis left for the Navy at the end of June, Lany goes on the 15th, Laura on the 24th, Whitney on the 23rd. We drive to Idaho on the 20th and deliver her to college on the 23rd for a break-in-week.

It is slowly becoming the time. And we are ready. Mary-Elizabeth is getting so so excited. She has her schedule, she has her roommate and knows her dorm room. She has stuff to put into her super duper planner. Life is good for her.

I guess my job is to have a plan for the first week after I drive over the pass. Ohh... I guess I am going to be sad that she is gone. But in a good way.

Day 21

She is going to be in Madonna http://www.gonzaga.edu/Student-Life/Residence-Life-and-Dining-Services/On-Campus-Living/Residence-Halls/Madonna-Hall.asp This is her space. I took pictures of her lists. Sooo Do we want speculate how much stuff I will be bringing home?

Day 22 Eye Appointment

I am sure that if you have had one bad eye appointment that lead to 2. 5 years of treatment and a lifetime of worry that you don't have another one.... right.

So do you think if I had never taken her to the eye doctor that she would never have had leukemia and life would have gone on and the past would have been erased.

Day 23 I am Not Gone Yet.....

This was the cry of the child who was sent into Kiele's for face cream with a $20.00. I am trying to ween her from the Mommy ATM. We spent days working on obtained an account for her and it has money in it. I explained very carefully that the money had to last and I was not going to add any more. She did not seem to get around to finding employment so she is on a very limited supply.

We have had a lot of discussions about need and want and what is my responsibility and what is hers. I don't think she needs face cream from Kiele's. She could go to Bartells. She does need more than one set of flip flops, or a bag to take into the shower or new socks or more sweat pants. We are both learning to fight more for our position.

She senses that this newly coming Independence has a price. I push a bit and she tries to climb back in the boat. I push more and she still tries to climb back in and bring friends as reinforcements. "See, Madeline thinks I need a shower bag." I watch the bird parents have the same struggles. The babies are hard to identify. They are the same color and size. They walk around the Yard and do bird things but as SOON as mom or dad show up the start the FEED ME, FEED ME, FEED ME chant. It only lasts while the parental units hang out. As soon as they leave the babies go back to fending for themselves. The crow one year olds do hang around an extra year. Sort of a "Gap Year". I guess they are doing their community service by helping the the new ones and all their demands. Mary-Elizabeth is still in transition.

So she is not gone yet, the strings on the parental unit's purse are growing tighter. This will be interesting.. We do leave in a couple of weeks.......... and then I won't hear the FEED MEEEEEEEE...... over the mountains. It will be someone else's job, I guess her dad and I are paying for it and it is way expensive but it will seem different.

Sad news about Aunt Margarite Lanham

Okay she was 90 something. She was no longer remembering the little things that make life so much of a joy, like the names of children and the like. She had been in a sort of fetal position for a while and was in pain. That part is over. Her person is no longer with us. She has "left this mortal coil" but she has not left without touching lots of lives.

I loved her stories about being on mountain tops as a look out and having to get up in the bitter cold because she lost the nightly gin game to Uncle Max. I thought she was a wonderful person because she did not withhold his pain medication at the end of his life when she found out he had been cheating at cards all those cold nights.

'I loved the smell of her art studio. She was the first real artist I ever knew. I value a small rock painting she did of a sea shore. Most were western scenes but I glommed on to this one because I love the ocean and it spoke to me and was a part of her.

I loved her cooking and her care of all of us. Her love of the world's oldest biggest cat that ever walked the earth. As I recall he weighed 25 pounds and was 25 years old but then I was just a small child. Her love of a great German Shepard that would ring the door bell when he wanted to come in.

I loved her laughter and her view of life. She was always the same age. She was old when Max died almost 30+ years ago. But then as a child people are just an age. I bet she was not any older than I am now. Seems impossible.

I guess I just loved her. I am glad I saw her when I could, that she came for Thanksgiving here once and to Mary-Elizabeth's end of treatment party. I am glad we went to Boise for the reunion.

I guess we are becoming the old relatives to the next group. I hope I can do as much for them as she did for me.

Day 24 the Semesters vs. Quarters

My daughter is on the Semester system. She and I leave on August 20th. There is another group that does not start school until the end of September, the quarter people. I am finding that it is a double edged sword. My daughter, as lovely as she is, can be a just awful. She is angry and hostile and frustrated and frustrating. The old "soiling the nest" activity. They have to hate home and mom and dad and be "So blasted ready to get the hell away". It will make the leaving so much easier.

So as the time counts down I am both melancholy that she is going to start school in 24 days while relieved that this push pull activity will not go on until late September. The other parents that are glad their children are still close are also dreading another month of the "Why can't you make toast the right way" sort of dialogue.

It is all so confusing. Answer to the issue, start listing their stuff on e-bay.

25....so what needs to be scheduled.......

My list:

Doctor

Children's Hospital with Endocrinologist

Final Barbecue with Whitney and Laura so I can have a picture of the girls on the couch.,

Her List

Hair Dresser

Eye Brow Lady

Pedicure

Grandma Marys list

Safeway for Viva Paper Towels

Target for Scott single ply 1000 to the roll Toilet Paper

Does this say anything about how we see the world?

Day 26...... the school schedule.

English

The Gospel of Mark

Chemistry

Calculus and analytical Geometry

Chemistry and a 6:00 p.m. lab

Computer Engineering

Engineering Seminar

No Monday classes, a 2:00 p.m math class on Fridays...... That will keep her from coming home with friends. We will have to see how that goes.

Sounds like a great semester.

Day 27.... Will she ever really get packed?

So what do you think is more important putting dots on your bathroom bag or take the advantage of a car that is going to drive back to Idaho.

I think this is a very big push pull going on. If we don't pack then we don't have to leave. Mom stuffing stuff into a car seems to be like Mom wanting us to leave. Now we want to leave but then we are afraid to leave but we know we have to leave and we everyone else is leaving and we don't want to be the only one that is not leaving.... Do we need two pairs of black boots, how many pairs of socks. I need under wear, and socks and shirts and lots of other great things.

It is the voice of excited panic. It is exciting to hear that joyful anticipation.

The first car is packed. It is a mini cooper and so space was a challenge but then this whole time is a challenge.