I'm not sure how much you know about what I have been through. I think you guess a lot but have tried to keep focused on your journey. As you know WE had cancer. WE had a relapse. WE had a Double Cord Blood Transplant. But you have returned to your life and I am sort of waiting for mine to be found again.
I think I have been looking in all the wrong places. It is such a weird thing to loose your way when you are not ready to be done with your working life. It just seems unreal. I am not ready to step back from the world just yet. I still feel 18 and have lots to offer. I am just wiser than I used to be. I have seem more, felt more and lost more. This next part needs to be good because, let's face it, I am a bit more than middle-aged.
This last week I have had a chance to re-connect with some friends. They say you can see yourself most clearly in the eyes of others. It is always good to see a positive reflections. And to be honest, I don't think it was just the good wine we drank.
I think I might have to turn back a bit to law. To figure out a way to use my specialized skill set but not be eaten alive. I have realized that to do the Family Law piece the way I did it, I took on the pain of the family. It was woven into my being, I don't have that capacity any more. My own pain and worry have filled that part of my being.
Okay, let me see if I can figure that out....
Twenty Years, Two Hundred and Forty Months, Seven Thousand Days, and Three Hundred Days. Since we started chasing Leukemia.
1 comment:
would love to visit with you again! a glass of wine... bainbridge has great blossoms our right now...
--audrey
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