Hubris:
1.
Excessive pride or arrogance
2.
Excessive ambition that usually least to the
downfall of a hero in classical tragedy
Hope:
1.
To have a wish to get or do something or for
something to happen or be true, especially that seems possible or likely.
2.
A feeling that something desirable is likely to
happen.
Cancer World Mom’s are so hubristic and so hopeful that we make each other
gag sometimes. They are filling our children
full of poison and weird stuff and we just ask for more. WE KNOW they will get better. WE know they
will not die. We know they will not have immune systems that allow diseases not
seen since the 14th century to enter their bodies. Our kids will not suffer all of THOSE side
effects and lose their balance and lose their fine motor skills and their gray
matter and their executive functioning and their fertility and their skin and their
hair and their thyroid and their sight
and their kidneys and…….
We know they will get better, because we are their MOMS and we can
weave through this maze of drugs and side effects and procedures and tapers and
IV medications and our sheer will of being MOMS will make only good things
happen.
The fact is most of the children, if not all, have a MOM with an iron
will. A mom that knows she can do better
then the next mom. A mom that is working
so hard to hold on to the hope and to believe they have made it out of the
tunnel and are going home. We are going
to be able to continue life, with a child intact. A child that can look back and say: I HAD CANCER and I beat it.
When something does not go as planned, as expected or as promised, we
are furious. When the child ends up in
the hospital with a fever or procedure is not scheduled correctly or the
transplant has to be done again because both donors are still hanging around,
we are just devastated. We know somehow
it is our fault. We have somehow failed
to do what needed to be done.
The hardest thing of all is accepting that we really don’t make stuff
happen, good or bad. We aren’t in charge
of the weird bacterium that floats around and causes an infection. We are not in control of how an incision heals.
We don’t make the ANC go up or
down. We really are at the whim of
cancer and it’s affect on our children.
Hope and our Hubris is how we survive
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