Well, Radiation is a Trip and Very Scary for Me not M-E.

We did leave the hospital on Sunday. Back to clinic on Monday for a chemo treatment, back today for a Spinal Chemo, IV chemo and then on to University Hospital for her first radiation treatment. Oh, I was not ready. I had been there before but I did not go in with her for the simulation. I insisted on going in this time.

We took her into a huge room filled with weird equipment. I saw them position her on the table, her face in a mask. Then they made me leave. They did some things and then they left and a huge 12 inch thick door slowly closed. If you were wondering, it take 48 seconds for the door to close and to open. They they played with some computers. Then a light came on over the door. It was on only 30 seconds. They repeated this process 2 more times with one treatment lasting a whole minute.

It brought me to tears. That deep sinking feeling of how serious and very scary this entire process is becoming. They are in there sending powerful rays into my sweet sweet daughter's skull and spine. She faces secondary brain tumors, cataracs and a host of other problems. Her pituitary gland might turn off, her vision might change her spinal cord could be damaged but we are doing this to her by choice because her other options of not doing the radiation are gruesome.

I was feeling better because we were moving ahead again. I was not going to have to be weirded out by the fear of not going after the rest of those bad cells. We have 8 more months of this intense stuff. I know we will survive but there will be more than the tatoos and Piic line scares left by this process.

Side affects: Ara-C makes her sleep like crazy. Exhaust fumes smell like burned English muffins and she wants her dad's salsa. So we shall see how the week goes.