Climbing Mount Everest

We are at base camp and must wait a couple of more days for news before we can head on our journey. Everyone is getting antsy but we are working to get ready. M-E was able to sleep over at the Verhoffs. I still woke up but it was nice to have some down time. I need to do that more. I figured that while she was so stable and feeling good I could escape for a little while.

I would like to share this burden but this is so complicated and I am the only person that really knows the whole story. We are doing medicine by committee and M-E is going to be in books someday. Because we have been involved in three separate medical communities it is hard. I think as we go on and get into some more predictable stages of treatment I can let some other's take her to her treatments. I will see if we can get to another "R" word, "Routine".

As we wait she is shedding. Bits and pieces of her DNA have been deposited all over, the house, the car, the school, the street. Picture Pigpen from Charlie Brown. She seems very matter of fact about it. It is falling out . She is not ready to cut it off but is thinning. It seems to gross me out more than bother her. I think I have that mother hair thing going. You know, the one where every time a mother opens her mouth she says " Get your hair out of your eyes!!!"

M-E is ready. Ruth insisted on hat purchases. I asked M-E if she really thought if her head would get cold and she said in all of her 12 year old wisdom "Mom, my head is use to having lots of hair ! Of course it is going to be cold." Silly silly me. She has several hats purchased and a couple belts. She is trying to complete some homework and I am doing laundry, working a bit and trying to clean the kitchen. M-E is doing better than I am on getting her tasks done. I am scattered. I may need some ADD meds soon.

I napped a bit today and tried to finish the auction quilt. See there is still a part of me that thinks I should still be able to do it all. I am trying not to feel guilty that our class does not have a room parent. I have to let that one go. I have to let someone else get the class project done. I am getting a knot in my stomach. I am anxious about the treatment, stuff at the office, money, about Mary-Elizabeth, about how the next day will go. I find that I worry more when I am tired.

Worry is just part of this process. It is part of the preparation for the next step. Will she be successful in this treatment, will she suffer some of the possible side effects, cataracts, secondary luekemia, brain tumors, learning disabilities etc..... Will she ever be able to get health insurance after having ALL, will I be able to work enough to have a job to keep our health insurance, will Hurricane Yogi hit Seattle. See, I am tired and need to go finish my tasks for the day and go to bed.

I know that things are fine at work, I know that we have the best doctors in the country, I know that the school will do everything possible to help get us through. I know that we will handle this time with faith and prayer and good pioneer determination. I also know that things will go well and M-E will make it to the next stage with the same great spirit that she has exhibited in the last 5 weeks..... "Mom, that didn't hurt as much as I thought." " See that did not make me sick" "Mom, I will feel better after a nap and some ice cream." "Mom, see my chubby cheeks are starting to shrink." "See, I still have some hair." " Mom, can you believe has nice everyone has been." " Mom, God will get us through this but we don't have to be happy about it right now." " Mom, I love cards and meals people bring. There a lots of good cooks out there."

We are on a journey, we are resting, we are starting up to the next camp on Monday about 2:30 p.m. Wish us luck.