Today I rest and reflect so I can continue on my Marathon.

It is Saturday and I am trying to regain my sanity a bit. We spent 5 hours on closing arguments on Friday. 10 days of arbitration/trial. It is a journey of endless adrenaline pumping, sleepless nights and what if we did........ such and such, teeth grinding, jaw clenching. When it is over you sort of peruse the neglected parts of you life. You try to relax and you try to breath again. When I walked out of chambers, I realized how tense and focused I had been. If I don't take some time to stop and recharge I will not be able to continue.

I have a million people that want my attention and they feel neglected. I have been beating myself up for not being able to meet everyone's need and wants. I realize that they are mad and it makes me sad but this last six months has taught me a few things. One is that I can handle a lot but not everything. I have limits and I have to focus on one thing at a time or I end up with no focus. I have never had a 10 day trial. They are virtually unheard of if there are no custody issues. I can handle my daughter's illness and a trial or my daughter's illness and a lots of little tasks. I can not do all three.

So I sit here and look around. I wonder, how long has that glass been sitting there? When did I last do the laundry? When did the daffodils bloom. Who forgot to pay the power bill? When did that letter come? When was that message left on the phone? When did I last light a candle and say a real prayer? Did I send the picture to my sister of M-E and Sadie for the medicine man to study? How can the cat food be all gone? Oh, dear how long has it been since I seached the bowels of the refridgerator for science experiments? When did I last laugh with my daughter? or have a meal that was not perfuntory?

Fortunately, we are through the worst. The reinforcements are coming. The schedule at work is do able. Next week will be a whirl wind but managable. It is good to have a moment to breath.