One more Mile Stone on our Journey

She is going to sleep. Much needed sleep. She had a very rough night last night. She was worried about the Methotrexate. I could not aleive her fears and her anticipation. I could not tell her she would be alright. I could not make the bad thoughts go away. I could not make it better. She had too much knowledge. She knew that any reassurance I gave her was really a lie.

630 ml of Methotrexate have been injected. Now we wait. Days of nausea f0llowed by days of bone deep weariness. Then we are done with the drug in IV form. I told her as the IV pump began today, that this was the last dose. She smiled and we both knew I might be lying.

It is the last dose IV if...... if she does not relapse.

Each day that we progress through this process we put one small step between ourselves and the cancer. We count a moment in time that we are deemed to be cancer free. Each blood test is a way to know that the cancer is still gone, we hope.
She does not know what if feels like to have cancer because she never was sick, not in the way most kids are sick. She never had the weeks of lethargy or the lingering cold, she did not have the strange spots or the weird blood tests. She went for a normal eye exam. She went to confirm for the third time that she received her dad's eyes and not her mom's. We will all be more wary than most. I will always hover more than I used to hover. I will worry more and watch more.

For now we know that the last dose has been given. M-E is sleeping. How can this not be a wonderful moment in time?