I should be getting ready for work but it is cool this AM and I need to moment or two.
I am looking out the window at 9 sagging deflated balloons. There is a matching pair on the other porch post. 18 balloons. I am so so pleased to have been able to display them. 18 years, 216 months, 1008 weeks, 7056 days. Seems like a lot but we all know that in this day and age this is a drop in a person's life. A nano second in the Earth's time and a micron nano second in the universe.
I guess it seems important because I have been blessed enough to be present during the entirety of her life. Many ups, many downs but present all the same. I woke up on the 4th and began the annual ritual of remembering what was happening during the entire day. kit sort of replays in the back ground each day. My own private movie. I have multiple channels going on. Some good some bad. Some of the movies intersect like the 4th of July party during 2004 when Thomas Kim would not talk with me because he didn't want to ruin the party with news he was trying to figure out how to tell me.
She and I went to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July. While walking I looked at the phone and announced that she was finally 18 at 9:39 pm. She said she was not ready and would like to slip back a couple of years. Her pronouncement was heartfelt and a bit melancholy. I gave her a squeeze and told her that she could handle it and I was not done yet. 90% of her life was in her control and she was more than able. She smiled and gave me that "you are so full of it" look.
It made realize that she does carry some unseen scars. The knowledge that they would heal with time made me smile. I wish she did not have to wait but I guess it is sort of like the balloons, a bit deflated but still a good reminder of good times now and for the future.
I am looking out the window at 9 sagging deflated balloons. There is a matching pair on the other porch post. 18 balloons. I am so so pleased to have been able to display them. 18 years, 216 months, 1008 weeks, 7056 days. Seems like a lot but we all know that in this day and age this is a drop in a person's life. A nano second in the Earth's time and a micron nano second in the universe.
I guess it seems important because I have been blessed enough to be present during the entirety of her life. Many ups, many downs but present all the same. I woke up on the 4th and began the annual ritual of remembering what was happening during the entire day. kit sort of replays in the back ground each day. My own private movie. I have multiple channels going on. Some good some bad. Some of the movies intersect like the 4th of July party during 2004 when Thomas Kim would not talk with me because he didn't want to ruin the party with news he was trying to figure out how to tell me.
She and I went to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July. While walking I looked at the phone and announced that she was finally 18 at 9:39 pm. She said she was not ready and would like to slip back a couple of years. Her pronouncement was heartfelt and a bit melancholy. I gave her a squeeze and told her that she could handle it and I was not done yet. 90% of her life was in her control and she was more than able. She smiled and gave me that "you are so full of it" look.
It made realize that she does carry some unseen scars. The knowledge that they would heal with time made me smile. I wish she did not have to wait but I guess it is sort of like the balloons, a bit deflated but still a good reminder of good times now and for the future.
1 comment:
Best wishes from Singapore!
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