There is a family wedding for my baby brother David. His brother is getting married. His "bio bro." I remember the day he called me and asked for help to find his other Mom and Dad. I was able to talk to Dad about it and he was reluctant to give me the information about the doctor who handled the adoption. Dad was afraid I would create a problem for the family by making inquires.
I assured him it would be a simple thing. I would ask the Doctor. He would relay the message. The Doctor would give the mom my phone number. If she wanted to talk to David she could call me. Many think it was a worry that David would want to leave the family, Dad was worried David would be hurt. But David being David was just wanting what he wanted. He wanted to reach out and I helped him do so.
I made the calls. The Doctor was more than excited to hear from me. The family had been friends with the doc's family and he told me we would hear from them. Within 20 minutes I heard from Pat, David's Mom. She was very excited to talk to me. We talked for awhile and filled me in with what had transpired in the last 25 years. David had two brothers, a Grandpa, a step dad, an uncle a famous Seattle Great Uncle and an assortment of other family. I let Pat know David would call when he could but that he was gone for the week-end. While I complain lots about TV is not a good source of information. This worked out just like they did on Oprah.
My next call was to David. "what!!!!!" he so kindly said when he answered the phone. Rude, Rude, Rude. I said "Fine, I have the phone number for your Bio Mom but you have to be nice to me." Phone hung up.
Ring, Ring, Ring, "Hey sweet wonderful and most special sister, this is your loving and wonderful brother, give me the number please."
He called and they talked for hours. It all worked out just fine. We have all been together over the years. Lives inter twinning. When David graduated from college we had a big event. Lots of people there.... David was sitting in a room, Dad was in a chair, Mom was putting her legs up and David said to Mom: Pat is my mother, you are my Mom" David had it right.
He loves his family, all the various branches. Pat has always been very appropriate about how she comes and goes in his life. There is a relationship and a warmth and he is family, but David says it best. "Sis, your house is like going home, just like Moms." Sometimes when I introduce David there is a mention of family resemblance... There is a deep deep connection between us.
David came during Mary-Elizabeth's time in the hospital for transplant. He bought her a TV and they watched together. He was horrified at what had been provided. He dismantled the old TV, moved it to the spare room. He spent time with her, talked with her. He was very relieved to see her now. He has not seen her since transplant. His joy in seeing how she looked was great affirmation as to how much progress we have made.
We are all family in some way, people come and go, we accept them when they come, we love them from afar and enjoy them w
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