Early Morning

It is quiet. The new dishwasher is running and I am having a cup of coffee. A little tense but ready for what we have to do today.

This is nasty overnight chemo time. We have to go to the clinic and have a blood draw about noon. Then we wait for an hour while they decide whether or not we are going to be admitted. Her bone marrow has been doing a great job and her numbers are good. We then go to the floor and hope for good roommates. We get settled in and then wait for the process to start. Lots of fluids, 4 or 5 bags. They plump her up like a balloon. Then enough zofron to break a large third world country. Then they give her the Cytoxon and Ara-C and when that is finished she is given a big dose of Lasix. She stands by the bathroom door for about an hour and half and pees like a race horse. Then we go to sleep. A fitful sleep because we know that when she wakes up she will be an unhappy child. Oh, well, one more after tonight.

She was very very sick after the last round of this stuff. No one will listen to me about the reason. Kerry lost and my brilliant daughter puked for days. At this point in my life, I believe in lots of signs. I hope the much needed rain of today is not made up of tears of pain and anguish but tears that relieve and heal and nuture. We need them.