It is a Battle Scar

Mom, can I wear free dress today?

Yes Sweetie. Are you going to wear one of your new spring outfits that Aunt Amy bought you and then shamed me into keeping even though she bought two?

Yes, I am going to wear the green one. I don't care if my port scar shows. It is a battle scar and I am winning the battle.

Who told you about battle scars?

No one. I have heard about them before and this is one of mine.

There are moments like yesterday when I am just overwhelmed by Mary-Elizabeth. She is such an old wise soul. She is such a surprise to me every day. There is a part of her that is not of this world. She has always been that way. I have one very vivid memory of being in the old condo and she was dressed in a pink outfit. She was laying (or is it lying) on the bed and was about 6 months old. She was looking at me with the very serious furrowed brow and she began to talk. She jammered for about twenty minutes just as if we were having a conversation. She was animated and expressive and it was then that I realized that we were the ones that were not able to communicate with her. She had lots to say and some day she would have to switch to our language and and try to make us understand.

She has been so very calm and very matter of fact about her lukemmia over the last few months. She has had an occasional melt down but then she is 12 almost 13. She is calm and matter of fact. Only on occasion does she complain and then only about weird little things. No complaints about going to the hospital. No complaints about daily shots. No complaints about side affects. She just takes them in stride.

There are signs every now and then. I know that she misses her hair. I know she desperately misses school and her friends. I know that she misses her dog more than she can say. I know that she misses being able to go places like movies and malls and favorite restaurants. I know that she misses being able to leave Seattle.

What truly saddens me is that I also know the "Battle Scars" are not just on the surface. I am sure that we will have to watch for infection and complications for a very, very long time.

On a lighter note, Isabel and M-E dyed Easter Eggs yesterday. Isabel was so excited about how that all worked. She was very upset each time she found no egg in the dye. She was very pleased when she took an egg home for her Popi. M-E announced that she was the Easter Bunny this year. I hope we can find all the eggs.