I had a dream and it took me a couple of days to shake it off.

This was not a Martin Luther King sort of dream.  It was a deeply disturbing, upsetting, freaked out when I woke up dream.  One that has been sitting on the top of my chest ever since, sort of like a big hunk of anxiety. 

Dream:

Gathering with a group of people heading to some sort of re-union.  It is warm and sunny but for some reason I have to leave the reunion to take someone to the train or the airport or something. 

We start to drive in my car and head to town. During the drive it begins to become very dark and ominous and then there is snow in the trees and on the ground.  I know my good old 1995 Honda Accord Station wagon is going to do just fine and I head down a hill.  To my surprise the street suddenly ends and we plummet over a very high wall/cliff. I think to myself that when I wake up I will be either dead or in the hospital.

I wake up and I am back with the people I originally left.  The young man in the car is talking about the accident and showing the people his abrasion from where the seat belt held him.  I try to talk about the experience and no one wants to listen. Also the car is gone.  (My dear friend John Sabala will be pleased to know I thought about calling him to get a car. His brother Jim will tell him I said that.)

I tried to have someone take me to the reunion but no one seemed to comprehend that my car was gone and I really needed a ride.

So.  Do I shut up about cancer and having a kid so close to death and being able to bring her back before we hit bottom and certain death?

Do I try and find a new path, do I try and get onto the old path?

Do I keep trying to make people listen about hings like bad hospital food and the need for more purelle in the 4th floor lobby or more bone marrow and cord blood donors? 

Do I realize that our journey is almost done but get a new Car?

Do I get some more sleep and try to make it restful?

In the waking world things are very good.  Discharged from SCCA back to Children's.  She even went to an American Cancer Society make up thing at Children's last night and loved talking with three other girls that are in various stages of healing. 

So I will continue to think, continue to wonder and try to stay away from steep cliffs.

 Who knew this was where maple trees were born?!