Waves

I was sitting in the office the other day and looked out the window. I have this great view of the south end. I watch planes land and take off. I watch the traffic weave into town. I can see the goings on in the Qwest stadium. I sat on Wednesday and watched this dark cloud move over the area. It was moving fast and was a deep, deep gray. I had this moment of panic. It was fleeting at the most but was very very real.

That panic came from another part of my brain, the more primitive part that let's us know the Saber Tooth Tiger should be avoided at all cost. I have felt that bit of panic before and I remember those times very distinctly. Once was when the King Dome was blown up. We went early to the office to watch. Lots of people were there and we had a perfect view. We watched and waited and then we could see the small explosions that ran up the spines of the supports and then the inevitable and expected collapse. What brought the panic was the cloud of dust that the explosion created and the sight of people running away, in a panic. We knew we were safe and the cloud would not reach us but the sight was enough to create fear and a raised heart rate. I am sure all the victims in the Indian Ocean had the same reaction but their fears were realized.

I also have great respect and some fear of "Big Water". I was floating the Boise River one hot afternoon and our group became separated. I was in the middle of the river and tried to stop and stand up and wait for the our group. I tried and tried and realized that even though the river was only 12 to 18 inches deep, it was powerful in it's collective movement. I had to get to shore in order to accomplish my goal. I was very taken aback by that realization of it's power. It was so deceptive.

I am running from a big cloud of dust and the big waves and trying to get out of the strong current right now. Intellectually I know that there are many many fears that should be put away with logical and reasoned thinking. But there is this little bit of primitive panic in the base of my brain. It sits there like the Saber Tooth Tiger, ready to pounce when least expected.

I just feel impending disaster all the time on the edges of my life. It does not take much to throw the whole thing out of kilter. I do feel the waves and waves of good thoughts and prayers and know the whole community is doing what it can to help us maintain and stand up in the current. I know that we will make it safely to the shore and be able to stand and move on. It is the getting there that is sometime so hard.

Thanks for all your help in our efforts. I do believe in the collective power of the positive and it's affect on the universe. We will arrive some day.