Father's News of December 29, 2004

What do I say. How do I deal with this. Dad has been going through a series of tests and seeing doctors. He evidently has not been feeling very good over the past few weeks. This A.M. he is going to have a test to see if he can have a CT Scan. He might have lung cancer.

This will not make my day. I think the Lanham/Sierra family has really had enough for a year or even a life time. But then maybe life times are made up of unending gain and losses. Dad has mentioned in his letters that Mary-E will be teaching us alot. Maybe she is going through this to teach my dad about how to deal with Chemo and Cancer.

I don't even want to think about it. But then maybe knowing is better than not knowing. Maybe having a chance to say good-bye is better than not saying good-bye and then maybe this is a really big test for all of us. I could begin to develope test anxiety really really soon.