Interim

Interim..... a very funny word. It is a word that we use in Luikima world a lot. Now we are in Interim Maintenance. I think this is what Limbo is like. It is a time of waiting and contemplation before we start the next part of our journey.

I hate to wait but I have learned a few tricks on how to wait. M-E does it with so much more grace. She is such a trooper and has such inate wisdom. We all have more expectations of her because of her special and marked qualities. She seems to think that we under estimate her abilities. I don't think I could ever get it right at this point in her life but then that is a very important part of her adolescence.

She stuggles deep in her heart. She is so brave and so stoic about it. Sometimes cracks appear and tears flow. I take every chance I can to let the tears find there way to the surface. I know they are there and they need to escape. I feel like an old fashion doctor who has to use a hand held probe. I ask the hard questions, are you afraid you are going to die? Are you afraid that you are going to relapse? Her answers are always postivive. " No Mom. I have not had any of the problems of the people like the people that have died." I am not morbid about the questions but it seems that every book she has read recently has had some child in it that is sick. I am glad that she does not see herself in those other children. I hope that she never has to.

We all are in an "Interim" state during our lives. We are all waiting for the next stage. Maybe the lesson here is that we should spend less time waiting and more time understanding that this is where we are at this point and time and be content with this part of the journey. No time wasted doing the "What if we had....." Only spending time on the moment at hand and looking forward. Looking in the rear view mirror only makes you miss the next exit and we really want to get there.......

P.S. The houses across the street are almost done. I think the sign that they are ready for the market will be when the Porta Potty goes away.