Could It Just Be Easy Once in Awhile?

Yesterday was wonderful. We had a great day, I did laundry and caught up on some much needed sewing. We were ready to pack and face the music.

First we took a detour to Redmond and went to see Garrison Keller and the Rhubarb Tour. It was a great evening, parking was easy, seats were great, 4th row back, good show. It lasted from 7:00 until 10:15. Then we were able to go to another place and meet him. There were about 100 people to start with and by the time he was signing things, there were about 35. M-E was bound to get his autograph. She had a book by Charles Shultz, "The Secret of Life" She thought that was the right choice for a book signing by one of her favorite people.

She waited her turn. A very tall gentlemen took the camera and could not get it to work. Garrison let her come back and stood behind her and looked at her hair and began to pet it and kept saying . "It is so soft". As he signed the book he looked at it and said," I have the Secret to Life in my hands and I am giving it back."

We headed home and she became very quiet and said "Mom, this night will make tomorrow easier."

We were up later than usual and went to breakfast. We headed to the hospital and had the required blood draw. We were ready. We were packed, we had a great parking place and a wagon.

Then the counts came. Tracy Hense, came in and said: "Well we won't be poisoning you today!" Her counts had dropped from 2650 to 220 in a week. She has not been this low since Thanksgiving. The Cytoxon and the Ara-C would do too much harm to her body and we would be in the hospital for a long time.

My Plea, Prayer, Complaint. (Your Choice)

Oh God, I have this all set. Lori is coming this week, Mom is coming the next two weeks so we are covered on the tranfusion week. We are so close, so very very close to the end of this hard treatment. We have to start this phase so we can be done. I really thing I have learned the lessons of this last year. I know I have no control over anything. I know that good comes from every situation. I know that you provide what we need. I know that waiting does not kill me and that I should be happy to have those moments to think about other things instead of being upset. If not for me, let this process be done. I am so tired of watching M-E struggle with this whole thing. She wants answers and I don't have them for her. I know, I have no control, I need to be here and now and take it one hour at a time.

Oh well. Tomorrow will come and go and we will get through this, but I am not very happy about it.