Monday, February 21, 2011

Dad's Desk.

I should have taken a picture but don't seem to have one.   I promise to do so.  I just returned from Eugene and spent a fair amount of time with my dad's tax stuff at his desk.  He had everything organized.  I had gathered all the 1099's and W-2's and all that stuff.  I could have finished it all in one sitting but I think I had to return, time and time again. I think Dad is still near his desk.  He loved his desk.  I don't quite remember when it came to be at the house but we have had it since Idaho.  David was the only one that would sit on Dad's lap while he paid the bills.  David does not remember but he is the one that will continue to have the desk.

I know it is going to be at the house a while so when I return, I will find another task that will require some time at the desk. 

Mom is doing better.  She is picking out colors for the house.  Sort of apricot.  We shall see.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

So Do you Think I should Worry?

I had been warned that AARP had me in their data base for at least a decade before they mailed me my first invitation.  I knew the moment I was moving towards 50 the card would present itself. 

I was not prepared for the invitation to attend an open house for an assisted living facility.  That took me by surprise.  As I think about it, I am sure they think I should be putting Mother there.  I wonder what she would think about that.......

Friday, February 11, 2011

Who Knows

Hard to tell, life is unpredictable.  I don't seem to be able to get control of things.  Life is such a surprise.  I didn't see that coming.  Boy you could see that coming.....  Can you believe it.....

Ivan Doig, See Runners.  
Life is mostly freehand.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Dad's birthday and Les Miserables

Dad always said that one of his most favorite of books was Les Miserable.  Specifically the unabridged version.  For reasons that are not clear to me, it is almost impossible to find.  A week or so ago I obtained it and began reading it.  At first I thought I had the wrong copy because the beginning was very different.  Duuuuuh, I had never read the whole book.  I persevered and am beginning to realize what a huge affect this book had on Dad.  I am wondering when he read it but it was a book that shaped his entire life.  This passage made me cry last night.  I am sure that Dad was a young man when he first read it but this certainly described our wonderful and great Father.  He would have been 80 today.  He would not have wanted anything but he would have loved all the calls he received and would be pleased that I was finally reading the the UNABRIDGED version of his book:  To DAD

At the first view, and to one who saw him for the first time, he was nothing more than a good man.  But if one spent a few hours with him, and saw him in a thoughtful mood, little by little the good man became transfigured, and became ineffably imposing; his large serious forehead, rendered notable by his white hair, became noble also by mediation; majesty was developed from this goodness, yet the radiance of goodness remained; and one felt something of the emotion that he would experience in seeing a smiling angel slowly spreading his wings without ceasing to smile.  Respect, unutterable respect, penetrated you by degrees, and made its way to your heart; and you felt that you had before you one of those strong, tried, and indulgent souls, where the thought is so great it cannot be other than gentle.

Oh dear, I can tell this is going to be a hard day.  I just hope Dad will get a chance to have a chat with Victor Hugo.........

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

bit more sun and a little forward movement

So, almost a month ago.  Tomorrow is the one month point but it is also the start of Chinese New Year, the year of the Rabbit.  Several weeks ago I proclaimed that this was the true New Year and that we were going to leave the bad and unhappy things behind .  It was silly to change the calendar so I am embracing my former life heritage and going to  return to the ever changing Chinese New Year.

Given my proclamation, my outdoor lights are not up way past the holiday time, they are waiting for the New Year.  I realize the Santa lights might be not very seasonal but then I am sure they were made in China.

Just thinking about this last month is making me sad.  I am so missing our morning conversations, his ranting about the unfair in the world.  I guess I am entering the secondary sadness.  Yes it was a good death, yes we have wonderful complete and warm memories but the memory making has stopped.  We have to be sustained on those misty molecules that float around in our brain that are triggered by a sound, a song, a poem,smell or a certain shade of yellow. 

Oh dear, maybe mascara will not be the right choice today.