bit more sun and a little forward movement

So, almost a month ago.  Tomorrow is the one month point but it is also the start of Chinese New Year, the year of the Rabbit.  Several weeks ago I proclaimed that this was the true New Year and that we were going to leave the bad and unhappy things behind .  It was silly to change the calendar so I am embracing my former life heritage and going to  return to the ever changing Chinese New Year.

Given my proclamation, my outdoor lights are not up way past the holiday time, they are waiting for the New Year.  I realize the Santa lights might be not very seasonal but then I am sure they were made in China.

Just thinking about this last month is making me sad.  I am so missing our morning conversations, his ranting about the unfair in the world.  I guess I am entering the secondary sadness.  Yes it was a good death, yes we have wonderful complete and warm memories but the memory making has stopped.  We have to be sustained on those misty molecules that float around in our brain that are triggered by a sound, a song, a poem,smell or a certain shade of yellow. 

Oh dear, maybe mascara will not be the right choice today.