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Thursday, February 24, 2005

BEWARE OF THE FULL MOON

We had a productive day at the hospital. M-E had her Nero psych Evaluation. It will let us know where we are and what has changed. I was asked to fill out an evaluation of M-E and I became profoundly sad. As I answered the questions, I began to truly realize how different M-E is now from when we started. While she has and continues to be upbeat, we are living with another person. A person that has lost her sense of humor and really needs no more disappointments in her life. I guess the best way to say it is she has lost her flexibility. She is acting like a desperate person that is trying to hang on to the cloud that was her life.

She has always been an easy kid and the kid is gone for now. She has lost her trust of the world and her own body has betrayed her. She sees things so differently. It is wearing for her. There is so much disappointment in her world right now.

I think the best analogy can be taken from something my sister talks about. She always talks about our "tool boxes". Our parents give us the best tools they have to share but sometimes we have to find tools in other places, spirituality, healthy loving relationships, therapy, friendships, Oprah or Dr. Phil. Right now we are at the bottom of the box and need to find some new tools. I know we will find our way through this but I really could use a trip to the Hem/Onc Home Depot.

We are all a bit upset. We have had too much exposure to the sun and the moon. I think those of us from Seattle are a bit on edge. We have had weeks of clear weather and now it is down right warm. We have been able to see the full moon come into's full glory and we don't know what to do. We are waiting for God to review the world map and say "opps, the rain was not suppose do be in California!!!!" It is that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome.

I will enjoy each and every moment I see the sky in it's blue spender and hear the birds and watch the moon rise and Orion ride across the sky. I am looking into my tool box right now to see if I can find the tools to keep worry away. Wish me luck.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love and luck.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sal, Hope everything is good, How 'bout baskets..instead of toolboxes..My ten year old cousin hear's this one all the time,
you have a basket of love that you carry(fill it with love, experiences and anything you treasure)
basket of peace
basket of joy
and know that whenever you need it you can reach into your basket and you will find just what you need..
They have to be refilled all the time---
Thanks for blogging, my prayers are with you always and you should be very proud, you are a wonderful parent it is very clear to me that you as well as Mary-E are carrying this burden together and that sort of makes you an angel!
Take care, love and hugs

Anonymous said...

By the way Sal I'm in California and God must have felt you needed the sunshine more than me--
Those that shine so bright can't help but spread it around..
Come visit

Unknown said...

ok, got your wish, we had rain today. maybe that will make things feel more "normal". Also, I like the basket analogy, and you know, you have friends everywhere helping to fill up your baskets of love, so theres more for you there.