Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Giving Back...... Can we really accomplish our goals?

So we have moved into Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Lots of people are really freaked out by the apparent lack of interest in Childhood Cancer.  The month has turned pink.  Let's be honest, I was not aware that September was a month for such things until a year ago.

So I am a bit dense and was not aware that it was a fund raising month.  I guess awareness requires money.  It is such a conundrum.  I know it is important and very necessary.  I know that we need to figure things out. I also know that the Mom's whose kids have been affected by the horrible disease want to fix it for others. We all want to "give back" to those that helped and made our lives livable during the ordeal. 

Mom taught us this lesson. The reality is that we can't "Give Back".  It is not a possibility to do so in any meaningful way.  The family that dropped off the meal doesn't expect to have a meal returned.  It is not reasonable to think we can. I know when I do something for someone, I don't enter it into the ledger and expect something in return.  It is a gift for now.  

We have to pay it forward.  I realized I need to stop trying to re-pay everyone and just move the good things I could do forward. 

I remember the moment Mom practiced what she preached.  We were at the California State Wrestling Meet in San Jose California.  David was competing and we had gathered for the event.  Mom and Dad had come from Canada, I was there from Dietrich Idaho. David was a Senior.  We had been at the ticket booth and there was a women with a small child.  It was very apparent she had paid for entry with 100% of her cash, the only form of payment they took.  She had planned on using her credit card.  We met again in the bathroom and Mom asked her if she needed some money.  She explained her brother-in-law was a light weight and she has indeed used all her cash.  

Mom gave her 50.00 and the recipient wrote her a check for $50.00.  Mom tore up the check and put the part with the name and address in her billfold.  She then explained: "When I get home, I am going to write her a letter.  I am going to explain that when your father was in medical school people sent us money, money we desperately needed.  We tried to pay it back and were told by more then one person it was more important to help someone in the future.  In every life, the opportunity will arise for such a gesture.  Her job was to  pass it on."  

She never said another thing about it and we went in to the Arena to watch David become California State Champion. 


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