Friday, February 28, 2014

Glimpses of NOrmal

I know I will never trust the universe in the same way.  I was speaking with someone today about my bad surgery karma.  Dad comes for surgery, he dies 2 weeks later. My knee is installed, MEB relapses.  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, Shame on Me. 

Yes I know it is a silly way to think but we are creatures that seek patterns and insight to make sense of the world we inhabit.  That's why we Cancer Mom's freak out so much when some little thing happens that is not "normal" in Cancer World. 

There is a secret, by invitation only, Facebook page for Cancer Moms.  There is true, raw gut wrenching stuff happening on that page.  Most times the moms are wondering if what is happening with their child is "normal".  They need to check in with each other about their worries.  No one ever suggests they are over reacting. 

"My child has a low fever and I am afraid to call the doctor because they think I am over protective."  The doctor that thinks she is over protective is not her kid's Oncologist.  He is her much loved but semi clued in hometown doctor.  It is frustrating for everyone. 

Speaking from experience, better safe than sorry.  It is never worth not making that call and finding yourself sitting in ICU with a child on life support.  Might seem extreme to many but it happens in Cancer World.  We all know the stories, the reality. The warm spot on the leg that is a blood clot and a 6 day stint in the hospital on high dose blood thinners.  The fear the clot might move and travel to the brain or the lung.  It is a call that needs to be made.

We live with a different normal and as Mom's we
need to not apologize for our worry.  We each had a kid with a weird, not to be worried about something.  "I thought it was just growing pains." " The earache would not clear up."  " I thought he was being lazy."  "The doctor just told her to go home and get some sleep."

We react the way we do because we have had a shocking, life changing event in our lives.  We have had the call, sometimes more than once.  "You have to come back to the hospital. Bring enough belongings for a two week stay."

Never ever apologize for your worry. Your concern.  When the kid calls from college and says:  " I am having some bleeding."  The right response is, call your doctor and do what she says.  Don't feel silly that she goes to the ER and they do some tests and some exploring and suggest some simple things.  Knowing it is nothing is worth the Co-Pay. 

Nothing is more normal when your Normal is in Cancer World.

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