Mom do you think I will ever be successful?
I can't tell you how far my heart sunk this morning. OMG, how, for even one instant, can my daughter not see how far she has come and how much she has accomplished. How can she not know?
I guess she let me peek this morning into a bit of her heart. She doesn't see herself as having accomplished anything. She doesn't give herself credit for all that she has done. Survivorship. Graduation in a difficult field. Setting up a life that works for her. Managing all of her side-effects from years of chemo and radiation and so many drugs I can
not bring myself to list them.
The mirror she uses to inspect her life does not have the ability to show her those things. She only sees the lack of a career job. Serious medical issues that will affect her long term life. Lack of fertility. Thinner hair. Sensitive skin. Too much iron in her blood for unknown reasons. Too many doctors to count. Expensive insurance and medications to keep things in good standing.
I guess my challenge is to figure out how to buy her a new mirror and steal the old one. Maybe as we get older we see pass all the self-perceived failures. Our vision changes and as we begin to explore the depths of the mirror. Only then to discover the great things we have accomplished and the treasures sitting behind the self-doubt floating on the surface.
I guess it is time to hit some thrift stores.
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