Saturday, November 30, 2013

Bookends are dropping off for those of us in the Middle.

The notices come from the edges of our lives.  Weird phone calls, notices on Facebook, the odd note from a friend. 

They talk about us being the Book-End Generation.  We have kids and parents needing our assistance.  When you think about it everyone spends some time in the middle and then we become the right end of the shelf.  We just happen to there now.

So this week-end has not been good for many of my friends.  Two dear friends have lost parents.  Lori Mann's dad died while she was desperate to get home to see him.  She was not in Tucson because she was going this upcoming week to surprise him for her birthday.  Instead she will be waiting with the family for a death certificate.  He died on Thanksgiving.   She and I decided he ruined Hanukkah.   

We both cried on the phone.  I assured her she soon would start to breath again.  I know it took a couple of weeks for that to happen.  The breathing thing is a challenge for a few days.  Dads leave such a huge chasm in our worlds when they depart.  Mine has been gone for almost three years and I still can't really look in the whole.  I can't listen to my saved messages because I don't want to hear his voice.

Bill Nary lost his mom.  She was a great spirit.  I don't think I met her more than once but know her children.  Both of them from different times in my life's journey.  Wonderful person.  She was upbeat and kind and generous.  Someone I was glad to know. She also gave me my first rice cooker before any of us stupid white people knew about them.  I don't know what it would be like to be motherless but I am in no hurry to find out.

The left end of my bookshelf returned to Gonzaga today.  It was a day early but the driver was wanting to get over the pass before the snow and ice arrived.  It was a good decision.  They were all ready to get back.  It is good to see Gonzaga becoming the alternate home.  As it should be. 

The right end of the bookshelf appears on Tuesday.  She has not been out of Eugene for more than a year.  She has lots new to do and see.  We are all looking forward to some time with her.  She has a list.  Two Big Blonds and Good Will are top of the list.

Remember to
Take care of your shelf.  All of it.  Even the middle.

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