Saturday, November 09, 2013

Hard is Hard

As people in crisis we are always trying to make sure our crisis is not as much of a concern as the next parent.  We all remember the kid competition that began before the children were born and continued after birth.  It is subtle but always there. 

My daughter walked at 8 months 13 days two hours.  My son can throw his toys 46 feet and does calculus.  The competition is there, all the time.  But then Mary-Elizabeth was born on her due date AND it was the 4th of July. 
See I am as guility of it as the next. 

It continues into Cancer World.   My daughter's blast count was 3487609765 when she was diagnosed.  My son has the rarest form of mkdlsdijfghng they have ever seen. Only .7 persons in the world have it.   Then there are the remission and vomit racers...  My child went into remission when they hooked up the IV.  Their Cancer was so scared it just ran.  My child has never thrown up.  He has never had to have a blood transfusion or a dose of Zofran. 

As a semi competent mom, I could match them story for story.  My daughter is having chemo for fun...

It always puzzeled me at first.  I then realized we have to deal any way we can. It is coping mechanism. A way to get people to talk, a chance to have someone say it is going to be okay.  It is a way to make sure we are not the worst.  It is a way to engage other parents who are so scared and worried and so very devastated and destroyed.  Searching for the reasons in a world that reason and cause are just not available.  We want to make sure we don't do it again, what ever it is that made this happen.  We will be more careful the next time. 

There is also competition between the types of childhood cancer.  Osteo vs leukemia vs neuroblastoma.... This is the worst. No this requires 989876309378 doses of chemo and radiation and three witch doctors and a toads spleen. 

The fact is it is hard.  All of it is hard.  It is not degrees of hard. It is just hard.  Granted it is hard in a world changing way but many of the things in our lives change the world.  We are all one phone call, one text, one _________ away from life changing.

This Ted talk really spells it out.  Hard is Hard. Worth the time, worth listening to and passing on.

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