Today I was on the phone with someone from our team from Cancer Part 1. They were commenting on how beautiful Mary-Elizabeth's skin had always been. I pointed out the freckles came from radiation and during the difficult acne years she was on so much chemo she had no white blood cells to make a pimple.
As a Cancer Mom we have to dig and find the funny moment or thing about the situation or we will die. Humor is a must. We don't have a choice. We are here. We are here to stay. We have no practice, no idea what we are doing but we have to be ready to laugh about it. Granted, sometimes it can be "too soon" but at some point the laughter comes.
Example: ME as in the hospital for an overnight dose of something so nasty the nurses double gowned and masked when they were administrating the chemo. It was the night of Bush v. Kerry election. Things were going okay as we drifted off to sleep. When she finally woke up and we had the final news Kerry would really really lose, she started to be nauseated. It went on for hours and hours. It took an act of God to get us home.
One of the young interns came in and asked what the problem seemed to be. He knew she did not have her nausea under control. I told him it was her body's reaction to 4 more years of Bush. He just looked at me,turned around an left the room. I thought it was funny and partially true. But then I was sleep deprived, had a child with a life threatening disease and nothing was really funny. In fact it is a way to keep grief, disappointment, frustration and anger at bay. It holds it in the underground tanks until they begin to leak.
As a group, we are mostly able to see some sun in the dark clouds. If we don't, we get dragged down to places of horrible despair and we do not have the chance to be there too long. We plow through for the most part.
At some point it has to ooze out and be exposed to the sun and healing has to begin. I am attaching a link to a great bit of writing from a mom who finally met her anger and has decided to let it be acknowledged.
It is worth a read.
Just know eventually most everything can be turned around and show its fun side. We keep the brave out so everyone does not know how scared we really are.