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Friday, November 17, 2006

Endings


December 7, 2006. It will be a very fabulous day. It will be the end of so much in some ways but I wonder if it will be the end. June 17, 2004 to December 7 2006. Lots of days, lots of worry, lots of blessings, lots of tears, lots of prayers, lots and lots and lots. I feel like I am no more ready for the end than I was at the beginning.
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The difference is that at least we had some connection to lots of people and professionals and studies and once we found our path, we had a "Road Map".

What lays ahead is not so well defined. How do we react 0ut of the pressure cooker? Do we get the bends? When divers get the bends they put them back in the pressure cooker ( hypobaric chamber). What happens when we don't have a team and a charge nurse and a social worker.and the........ Do I remember what life was like before leukemia came in and trounced on our lives and tried to get the best of us. Do I want to return to that life? If I don't have all the pressure will I try to create it so that I will feel comfortable? I think this ending is more complicated I had first been able to consider.

Each ending brings new beginnings. I guess we will be exploring that for a while.

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