Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Waiting for Godot

When I was in college I went to see Waiting for Godot. I remember the play and even where we sat. The endless waiting and talk about waiting and the hope that the waiting was about to be over, the talk about the waiting being over. I think ALL parents are in the play: we just don't know it.

We are lucky enough to have more to our life than just sitting and waiting so we are busy while we wait but we are endlessly waiting. We wait for test results, we wait for doctors, we wait for counts, we wait for the next round to start, we wait for the good news while preparing for the bad news. We wait and wait and ............

I have come to realize that there is a gift in the waiting. Waiting gives us a moment to stop and reflect and to pause. A moment to catch our breath, connect with others and to prepare for the rest of the journey.

I was always ready to rush through treatment, get to the other side, to JUST get it over with. I figured that the sooner we were done, the sooner we could get on with our 'REAL LIVES'. It took me a long time to realize that this, at this moment, at this second, at this next medical challenge, was our real life. It was full of challenges and heartache and pain as I watched my daughter silently take the next dose and the next indignity. It was the time in the waiting room when I could chat with a confused and scared new mom and let her know that it would be all right. It was the hours in the ER when I realized that we were lucky to have ALL and not some really scary thing like a child with a drug addiction. Once I settled in and realized that this was our real life, it was better. Not great, but better.

What has really helped is know that no matter how long it took, or how long we had to wait, there were people along our path to join in the vigil.

We are waiting for the end of M-E's treatment. We are waiting for the beginning of Elise's transplant. We are waiting for ..................... Thanks for joining our journey.


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