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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Maybe it is Over....


We have just been going to school and going to work and doing homework and writing Christmas cards. The tree is purchased. The gifts are under control. Not much going on there this year. I have to make decisions about Christmas Dinner. What to serve. Lamb, Bone in Breast of Veal or wild Mallard. How to decide. Maybe we will have a real pagan feast with only meat.

I am seeing a change. I don't know if it is really there but it is a change. A bit more energy, a bit more umph. A settling into the hair coming out. I think it has slowed down. I think it heard me say, let's get curlers and a curling iron and lots of hair goop. If it is coming out lets just fry it on the way.

I have thrown, literally, thrown some lights out. Hey, at night it just looks pretty, freestyle. I think I am ready to fact clearing the table and looking at the boxes down stairs. It just feels like work. I am trying to just recover from 2.5 years of hell. I am not motivated to do the perfect Christmas because I am certain for the first time that there will be more of them to come.

I also am in a battle with my child. We might have to have separate trees from now on. I want a white tree with white angles and silver starts. She wants color and big and glitter. It must be from her father's side of the family. I want simple and clean surfaces and garland and ribbon and ............. Oh, maybe I am to blame.

Oh, time to get back to work.

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