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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Limbo


It is such a bad place to be. I think it is mean of the Catholic Church to send babies there. It is one of the things I don't choose to believe. I have a list of things I just don't believe but I think that since I have been give free will that God will forgive me. I am crazy about Mary and good works and forgiving those that "trespass against us" even though I don't want to be and I am mostly a nice person. I should re-think that nice person thing given we are in LIMBO.

So tomorrow she has a blood draw in search of those missing ANCs and an ultra sound to check out her port and her veins to make sure there are not arrant clots sticking around. I don't believe she ever had a clot but then I am just the Mom.

The one sitting and worrying. It sort of goes like this.

"Sure, no problem. She has great counts. We are on track, we have made 11.5 months and are only two weeks behind. We can hurry and catch up.
Oh, she has how many platelets? but no ANC, how can that be? What does that mean, what do you mean she has 1100 White blood cells but only 610 are neutrophils, does that mean she has more bad one's than "we feel comfortable with" should I worry, do we have need for more tests...... worry worry, more chocolate needed soon......."

So we wait in limbo for some movement. I feel like I am approaching the very tippy top of the roller coaster and we just don't seem to make it to the top but once we do it will be a great ride.

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