The 13th Birthday is almost Here

Well I used to replay the day of her birth through my head as the day progressed.

I will start by calling Lisa Alhadeff first thing in the morning. It will end with fireworks about 10:00 p.m. It used to be a day full of private reflection. I spend the day telling Mary-Elizabeth it is not her birthday YET. She gets mad because she is soon in bed after that moment.

Now my mind is replaying the last years events. The medical reports, the good news, the bad news, as we approach the day she was diagnosed, I keep second guessing myself on how we missed the clues, how we did not see the obvious. I have a picture of her from horse camp. She looked sick. Now I can see it. I did not want to see it then.

I received a bunch of bad news last year on her birthday from Thomas Kim. He is our friend that was at the U, a neuro radiologist. He tried to be positive, but he was very very upset and avoided me during the entire party. I knew that was bad.

Oh well. That was last year. We have come a long way.
Now we know what we are dealing with. I am hoping I can get back to that happy place.