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Sunday, July 10, 2005

Patience



Well we all know that is not my virture. I keep being reminded that I need to have more patience. M-E had her last dose of Ara-c on Friday. I would like us to just return to normal. She has two doses of Vincristine and then we are home free. On to maintence. I am going with the "It is a Cake Walk" scenario. See, I don't learn. It will not be easy.

We only have to go to the hospital two times a month. Once for treatment and then for a blood draw. They have to keep her ANC between 1500 and 2500 for the next 20 months. Evidently that is easier said than done. So there is a fair amount of oral chemo ajustment. She will be taking a big dose of Methotrexate each week and daily Mercraptipurin ( My personal spelling.) We will be at the hospital if she gets a fever. I guess this is more like Roller Ball.

I was up early yesterday morning and had this flash of normal life. I started to make the "M-E has to do" list. She was up and I was past three cups of coffee. I handed her the list and she melted. "Mom, I am too tired. I don't have the energy and if I see too many things I get too upset." followed by tears.

I guess we are not at normal yet. I was so ready to be done. We both are so ready to be done. It is time for me to take a deep breath and know we are not done. Her body is trying to recover from the chemo but she is loosing her red blood cells, which takes her energy with it. She lost another point on her Hematocrit and by Monday they will be planning her blood transfusion.

Breath, relax, be more patient, concentrate on low energy projects, expect little or nothing of M-E until her energy returns. Breath, we are not done yet. Hold her more, listen when she will talk. Make sure she is able to see her friends, order good movies for her to escape with. Go pick up Harry Potter at midnight on the 15th...........

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