Now What?

Hey God... Really.

It is time to cut Mary-Elizabeth a break.  Cancer twice was over the top.  Yes we are thankful for the new and ground breaking double cord blood transplant research.  Yes we are thankful for Children's Hospital's facility and the nurses and the doctors but what's up with the pain part. 

So she has had dozens of back pokes and so she has had to endure steroids in multiple forms over long periods of time.  Really, now is the time to make her have to deal with "disc height loss and dessication at L5-S1."  Decided to throw in some disc protrusion at T7-8 because she was not in enough pain????

You don't know, or maybe you do, about how mad and disappointed and discouraged I am right now.  I really have been good through all of this.  I have not beheaded anyone.  No bombs have gone off.  Hey they have not called Code Purple (disruptive person) on me one time.  Not one time.  Even though each time a Code Purple is called everyone asks were I am at the time.

I guess I signed on for lots of things and in the back of my mind and deep in my heart I know the side effects of all this treatment.  I just didn't expect to need to handle this new thing today.  Today we were supposed to be moving out of this room and heading home.  We were supposed to be moving back into our house and gathering our dogs and walking in the bits of sunshine peaking out of the edges of clouds.  I was hoping for a couple of long cold clear night walks that are so much a part of my winter routine.

I guess I just need to "hold my horses".  I need to continue to be a good advocate for Mary-Elizabeth.  I need to not be discouraged.  I need to put a positive spin on this for her and help her understand that this is not unexpected or tragic.   The pain will lessen.  The body will strengthen the right muscles to help her back. We will survive this and all there is to come.

I have just decided that sometimes I don't have to be happy about it!! so there.... stomps Sally Ann age five... 

AMEN