It's not hard to loose track of your reality. It can slip away in a moment and you find yourself with the "OMG I'm lost" look. I know I have had it for awhile and know that as I edge back into my former life, the face returns. Often I feel like the people caught on the other side of ours mirrors. I can see some things clearly but their are some imperfections. Like being at Nordstrom in front of the mirrors they buy to make you look smaller. Fun House Mirrors. Returning to the living side of reality can be an up hill trek.
This transition is different then last time but is happening. Mary-Elizabeth has returned to school and being successful. She has had a cold, missed PT and survived. She is handling change and disappointment like a pro.
I am having a more challenging time. All the folks around me are retiring and I am looking for the next part of my working life. The last 10 years should have been my best money years. It is the time one really socks the money away. I have spent the years socking away at Cancer. Throwing my resources and creative effort in a different direction.
As I evaluate the situation I have come to realize how much damage has been done. So. Now What. My firm is dead and buried.
So. So. So. Time to get out the maps and see what still remains. Have there been new countries created? New border adjustments? New roads, new bridges, new secret handshakes, new passwords, pins and thumb prints.
The maps don't just reveal themselves. They hide things and require some interaction. Some work at making them tell their stories. Sometimes your journey runs off the page and you have to figure out where the new map can be found.
I just returned from one such adventure. Lots of bits of maps. We were in Canada so we had not signal. No Siri to boss us around. We had to ask, study, figure out how it worked. Sometimes the easy way is not the best way. Sometimes by taking a minute, having a discussion and looking around can reveal a secret. A surprise. A new way to travel.
So I am looking at new maps, new angles, new secret ways. Long is this journey. Interesting, unpredictable and enlightening.
It helps having good friends, good music, good food, good views, good adventures to keep it interesting.
Oh by the way.... If the Dixie Chicks ever come back to the US to tour, they are worth the effort to see. Oh amazing. They have had a similar hiccup in their careers and were knocked off course for awhile. But they are back!!!!!