Its so so weird. One little, tiny thing can send you to the bottom of the board, sort of like the Snakes and Ladders. You think you are at the top of the game and swoosh, down you go. A nasty snake rears it's ugly head. And you start again, and again and again. If you are playing with a 4 or 5 year old it can last for hours. 2 and 3 year olds don't see you cheat so it can end sooner. Cancer is 4.5 years old and very very into games and winning.
We have crawled, fought, wrangled with fears, real and imagined and seem to be headed up down that last row but then.... Oh, then...
It has been two years exactly since we began the game again. Two years. Relapse, Life Flights, Blue Thunder, Fevers, dead bones, live clots, 110 infusions, a million doses of chemo therapy, lots of retail therapy. Two years, you know the drill.
But, as I drove from Seattle after the GVHD appointment I realized I was starting to believe the really bad stuff could be done. I could begin to think again, with some confidence about the future. There was a future. A sort of normal future. A time past the next appointment. A time when we don't look out for the snakes but rather only figure out what the ladders might bring.
Taper continues, hair is growing back on the bald spot. Little spots only some days. The girls seems to have settled in a bit. They are down to 5/12.5 and we are hoping they don't notice the little bits that are being taken away.
Dr. Flingenfliyer was great yesterday. She is such a good doctor we are so lucky to have her to do the heavy lifting while ME is in Spokane. They are going to see each other once a month until the two year follow-up, scheduled for January 6. A week of appointments. The 20+ procedure/appointment torture session she goes through once a year. Every organ system from head to toe is examined. Again.
No complaints. She is here, she is returning to health and she earned a B on her Physics exam.