The "Strength" Cancer Mom's Exhibit Is not What You Think it Is...

Stay Strong

Hang in there

You have an amazing attitude

Your such an inspiration

You can do it, you have done it before

Hold on it will be okay

You're so strong....

Your a trooper...

I read these statements over and over again.  

I don't know about other Cancer Mom's but it is all a farce.  There is nothing amazing about being a Cancer Mom.  We are not trying to show the world of an example of how much we can handle. We are not trying to get be a trooper.  We are doing what you see us do because we HAVE NO CHOICE!

We are doing this because we got the call.  The "we regret to inform you" call. The call that slammed our lives into another universe.  No chance to pack. No chance to organize. No chance to say good-bye to our lives.  One second life was just fine and the next we were on the other side of the universe having been pulled into the Black Hole of Cancer World. 

We are amazing. Some of us are positive. Some of us are just out there, screaming about what it is like to have a child with cancer.  Some of us retreat to some dark, sad, scary place and never emerge again. 

 I have to write.  I cannot keep all the anger, fear and frustration inside or I would just implode and become one of those really bad headlines. 

Nice Quiet Mom Explodes at the ..... fill in the blank.

Today there was some good news, someone is waiting for news, someone is remembering good news that has gone sour.  Everyone is scrambling to make them feel better while all knowing how fast it can all go very very wrong. 

These mom's are strong, they are able to hold on, they are the most amazing troopers you could ever know.  But their strength is a different kind of strength.  They are not lifting a million pounds or taking some force and changing the world, they are simply standing in front of the leaking dam and holding it together.  
They are using all of their strength of will to keep the dam from completely collapsing.  Some days there are more leaks then anyone can clog. Some days a nap is possible. The thing is they know they can never, ever, ever stop from holding back the dam.  

They looked away once before and took a little vacation or went to a play or went out to dinner or learned how to speak French. They did something fun and the dam collapsed.  

These are special people with a strength and deep core of power only few every have a chance to use.    But they are all looking for the same result.  A chance to have their child "return to normal".    

Here's to Normal.