Things feel Different for the first time in a long time.

M-E is sleeping. She is on her back and has two incisions on her chest. One for the port and one at the base of her neck where they had to to something. I am still not sure how it all works but I certainly don't want to know. Yesterday went something like this.

Up at 4:30 a.m. (This teaches you to ask to be first on the schedule). At the hospital by 5:45. (Tulleys is not even open) Check-in. Try not to worry that the admitting clerk is snoring. Wait, wait, and finally at 7:00 a nurse appears and the long process begins. See the nurse, see the doctors and then off she goes. She walked like a trooper with the Swedish anesthesiologist.

Two hours later she was back. In pain and very grumpy. Things never go the way you think they will. They had given her an IVand it had to come out. That hurt. They had not given her all of her chemo and so the PICC was still in. It had to come out after the Chemo. Thank God I had not been there for the removal of the first one. Just for those of you that are weak of heart, the catheter was about a foot long. Yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We did were able to arrive home with little or no effort. She went to bed. She is very stiff and not able to move without hurting. She was able to watch some T.V. and took some pain meds in the middle of the night. She seems to be doing better this morning.

It took us more than 6 months to have the port go in. She was so ready for it now. She realized she was going to have two years of IV's for her maintenance chemo. She was very ready for this step.

We seem to have turned a corner. I guess we have not had to be in the hospital because she has been sick for a long time. No fevers, no trips to the emergency room in the icy rain. Luquemia is feeling like a normal part of our life. I guess we can ajust to anything.

We can see that the end of this intense time is coming. I am at a place I can help a new family understand the process and help them through the very confusing first few weeks. I seem to be able to breath more. We are on a path and we have to go the entire way. It is a path not often taken but it is our path and one that we have to travel. We can not step off. It is what it is. Maybe instead of trying to stand up in the river, we are just letting it carry us on. Less unknowns a this time. I am still very aware of the lions and tigers and bears that are lurking but then I have to be. They will always be there.

We are going to Venice for M-E's Make-A-Wish. We are going to take one side trip to Pisa. We are going in October of this year. My mom is a bit worried about the trip but I think we have to do it at that time. Less people traveling. M-E should have some of her strength back. I don't want to wait too long. I want to go while we can. We may be able to go another time but I would hate to miss the chance. We are very into taking advantage of the good times. I know the lions and tigers and bears are going to go with us and we always have to keep any eye on them but it should be easy to do so while sipping cappacinos in the the late fall Venetian sun.