I am not sure what day it is.

We have been pretending that things are going great. In reality they are. With an underlying monster lurking.

She had her day one chemo and had a pretty rough time but we can do it. The part that makes this part of treatment difficult is the Dexemethezone. I hate that drug. If I have said it before, I apologize but I just hate it. I hate how she it, I hate what I see it do to her body. I hate the disruption in her sleep and her energy fluxuations. I hate the mood swings and the tears and the anger and the frustration. It is hard on all of us. The good news is that it makes her ANC sky rocket. She should be Sushi worthy by the end of the three week period.

I love that she feels she can express all of those things but I want this to be done. She has three more doses this week. One tonight, if I can get her to bed before I fall a sleep, two tomorrow and then we get 7 days off. 14 more doses and we are done with it for this phase. She has some prednisone in maintenance but it could not be worse than this stuff.

I feel like we have both had a bunch of thorns in our feet and we have to get them out. They have starting to work to the surface and fester and we have been able to ignore them but they are there. Slowly they work to the surface and then when it is the most inconvenient, they explode. A bunch of them are just about ready.

We have to get this poison out and out soon.

Sadie update. We did have the invisible fence installed. Sadie is not a great fan but she is also not a glutton for punishment. She has tested the boundary on several occations. She has found that it is consistent. She thinks every now and then that it is gone and will head toward it. Once she went through because I was moving something down the drive way and she received a good strong shock. I am not sure if she would go if there was a squirrel or a cat. She hears dogs walk by and comes into the house and barks at them at the window. She knows that is as close as she can be.

She has also learned that walking happens out the front door and not the back any more. When I say let's go for a walk she heads there. She has also figured out that the collar is the culprit. It is taken off every night and put back on in the morning. She fights me on putting it on but as always, she is a push over for cheese.

I promise to keep you updated better.