Friday, June 22, 2012

the Luge.....



I am so scattered.  It is so weird. I pride my ability to compartmentalize and concentrate. It seems to have just gone. Maybe it is because we have been on this one very intense luge ride and instead of coming to the bottom of the hill and safely landing we keep finding new and more interesting and challenging parts of the course.

Our ride can best be represented by a pile of cooked spaghetti.  Pull one string and you never know what you will find or how long the strand is or 

It is not always a bad ride or a scary ride or even a dangerous ride but long ride.  We see people at the side of the track as we rush by or at other times creep by.  They are cheering and being supportive but we can't really stop too long and chat.  We cann't plan to go to the movies with them, we cann't have them over for dinner.  We are not able to do much that is planned but we really really want to make sure you don't forget about us....


We miss our old life. Not that it was full a fun and games and lacked challenges.  It was like any life, full of ups and downs and good stuff and tense situations but it had many wonderful people that populated it.  Many people leave their lives but they do some planning before hand.

I think the problem is that the transition from then to now was so so sudden and the next step is not very clear, sort of mushy and not formed yet.  Instead of worry and fret, I am trying to do deep breaths on the way down this uncharted fast moving every changing path.


(Daddy Flicker, waiting to be relieved by Mommy Flicker)
Packed the office today.  Only took about an hour.  25 years..... Pause, deep breath, re-focus......

1 comment:

Anne kulinsky said...

Keep breathing. We are all here, along the ride, though you may be moving too quickly to see us.. Lots of changes in both your lives. I think it calls for not only deep breathing, but numerous naps, much time in the garden and many cups of tea in a china cup. Add to that an occasional glass of champagne to celebrate the victories along the way. You have had many. Sending much love and big hugs--Anne