We are so very happy that the sun is peaking out today. We need the sun tomorrow and a bit today would be reassuring.
Mary-E is so excited about tomorrow. She is feeling better, people give her energy. She is thinking about things like going back to school and she is reading again. She has not really read a book in months. She told me to be quiet because she was reading. It was a great moment. A moment of her last teen-age snootiness combined with a normal ordinary request.
Ohhhh, the sun just came out. Okay, now I can get motivated to do the things that need to be done today. Better make a list. Buns, cake, drinks. Okay then I have to clean off the tables. (Stash everything under the table.) Watch a few episodes of Dark Shadows. Find the “party” box in the basement. Make a trip to Good Will with all the stuff I find before the Party Box. Try and figure out what to get Mary-Elizabeth for her 20th birthday. Think about how fast 20 years have flown passed. Become a bit melancholy for a moment. Look out the window and notice that the Stellar Jays have not come to retrieve their morning peanuts and also note the Crow family is strangely quiet and not around. Wonder if there is a hawk in the area. The squirrels are certainly amusing this morning. Four babies, more like teenagers now, up and down the trees and leaping from the bench to the tree, oh I need to have the bench moved to the back yard for the party. I better take it out from under the tree today to dry. I must not forget the camp chairs…..
20 years. It would be easy to see it as 8/20ths full of cancer worry, and treatment and pain. I am going with 12/20th of great times and challenges. WE are going to leave this chapter of her life behind and add more good years. I am going to get my obvious ADD under control. Settle my mind and work toward a new career and different and positive distractions.