Sunday, February 03, 2013

Quiet Moments.

are sometimes scary.  It is during those time the darkest thoughts can creep in and take over.  They are also the most creative and most productive. 

This is when I have these thoughts that in the outside world make no sense at all. For example, today I was drinking my coffee and was checking in on my Facebook page.  Small but present post. 

There's a new post about Owen on Caring Bridge http://m.caringbridge.org/visit/owenohara

Owen is the child of Jackie. They live back east but the internet has connected us.  Owen had a transplant, he has been sailing through.  Life has been good, they are getting ready for a Make-A-Wish trip. 

Then BAM..... Leuikemia is back. 

It just made me furious.  Maybe because of where I sit, I see this sort of thing but "Why in the Hell". 

I know there is no one to blame.  I am certain there is no God or Supreme being involved.  I know "things happen"  but for most of our kids, our cancer kids, they have had ENOUGH. 

I wish cancer was sort of like the mumps.  You get it once and then you are done.  You spend a few days on the couch listening to radio dramas (I had it when I was in 3rd grade and there were still radio soaps) and then you are done.  I think Cancer is more like Chicken Pox.  You have it, it is over but the threat of Shingles lingers on and on until your die.

I have had enough.  I have had enough of relapse and new spots on scans and children dying.  It is time for all of this to go away.  I want to return to a world of Unicorns and rainbows and sparkles and shiney things.