We go like gangbusters. ( I have to look up the entomology of that word.) We are unstoppable. Give us a challenge and we shall overcome it.
I think about what has happened and what is ahead and It makes me have a headache. I never get headaches but I do today. I don't know if I have the energy to finish the first leg of what is turning into a Super Tri-Atholon. Who thought running 345 miles, swimming the Atlantic Ocean in one day and biking from the North Pole to the South Pole was a good idea?
My mom said I have to keep it together but sometimes the universe should be better a cooperating with me. I found a really great cheap cruise from Vancouver to San Diego. I could get a train ticket, and have an airline ticket I did not use this summer because of Mom's surgery. It was going to a great little get-a-way for less than $500.00.
It was sold out before I had my ducks in a row. Another lesson in the need to jump when the opportunity arises. So much has been going on for so long. I thought a few days on the water would be good for my soul.
I have gone before on these little cruises. I spend most of my time out on the deck with a book and my thoughts. It is so wonderful. I can be with other people but the book and blanket is a great people barrier. No one needs anything or wants anything or has a crisis or a problem or an appointment scheduled. It is just time, I am a water person. Water is what re-invigorates me. That is what I draw strength from when I am low on energy. In the old days I could get on a ferry and just ride back and forth until my batteries were charged. Now they make you get off, sort of breaks the mood.
Looking at water is not enough. I have to be on it, touch it, be close enough to smell it and feel it. I have to hear it and be overwhelmed by it.
My need for big water is much more pronounced now. Maybe it was the way this hair thing happened. It was very difficult to enter, for even a moment, the world of treatment failure. Our skin that protects us and helps us move through the morass that is cancer world, is so so thin. It is easily burned and bumped and scrapped and is not doing much of a job to keep us safe.
We will patch our weak barrier. We will find the strength to keep on keeping on and then we will make it. Just a lull, our blood sugar is low, we are dehydrated and the second leg of our run is ahead of us.
Off to find some ice cream, almost as good as Water.