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Saturday, December 18, 2004

Progress is finally apparent

Mom has been watching the process across the street. She is very impressed with the ability of the heavy equipment operators. There is often lots of activity and not much evidence of progress. Sometimes things go by leaps and bounds and sometimes there is just lots of noise and at the end of the day you wonder what everyone has been doing all day.

This last month has felt that way. I can report that there has finally been some progress with M-E. She is finally feeling better. Father of course will claim it was his sourdough pancakes and the fact he told her to drink. (Oh, he is the first to tell her that.) Mom will be sure that it was because she told me to leave her alone and not require her to wash her neck. Her father will assure me that it was his visits this week. The doctors will just nod smugly and say "We told you she would get better". I will know in my heart that 22 days of fever, many nights in the hospital and liters and liters of fluid and hours of just sitting is the key and pray that I can learn to be more at peace with that reality.

Time, waiting, letting the body heal. No magic pills, no simple cure. Time, when we allow it to do it's magic it does work. Her bone marrow wants to do it's job. Her body has been under a sever attack for 4 months. It was tired and she needed time to heal.

I was reminded by our doctor that my daughter did have cancer and that she had had more than 200 doses of chemo and radiation. She had been in the hospital twice a month for 4 months and to the clinic so many times that we cannot keep count.

Oh, well, maybe I will learn that I too need some time. Some time to not feel rushed or guilty or pressured. We will both try and make some progress.

Just know that today all is quiet across the street and we have time today to enjoy.



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