I wish we had never left our normal life.
There are some that think we both are just sitting here vegetating. As this iceberg known as cancer creeps down from the ice flow, it is hard to tell what is going on below the water. I have tried to be like the duck, smooth sailing but paddling like crazy under the water.
I want to look back on this time as a time I did more than wait. It is hard to be away from the normal world and not having the usual measurements of productivity. No new clients, no new projects, no raise, no paycheck, no........ As we enter this phase of semi-quiet there are those that wonder when I am going to get back to it... What ever that is.
People ask what do you do all day? Why aren't you working? Why aren't you going back to being a lawyer? When are you going to be more productive?
They are fair questions but the answers are not so easy. While things are better, they are not better enough, yet. We can see the end of the tunnel but the end is a very long ways away. Sometimes is looks closer, sometimes it moves. Sort like a mirage.
On the list today, clear the table, walk the dogs, go to the hospital, try to help Mary-E sleep. Feed the birds, do laundry. Buy coffee. Work in the yard. Take a chair upstairs, clear off the stair case. Clean the kitchen. Go to Good Will to drop off stuff. Edit the blog, find a publisher...... find a job. Call Children's because Meb's ankle gave out. It just goes on and on.....
I need to realize this is my life. Now is my life. Maybe before the end of the month, some month yet to be decided we can look beyond today.