Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Growth while revisiting the past.

Growth is something we all do all the time.  At my age and time in life, I am trying to reduce the growth but then I guess that is part of the process also.

Today someone we know and love is spending the first day with new cells in her body growing a new immune system.  Some else is killing their immune system so they are able to  to have a new one. Who knew those would be good things.

We have been getting Mom ready for her big move and while doing so have stumbled across wonderful things.  A picture of dad from high school I had never seen.  A letter to his mom explaining the money he needed for college.  His accounting is touching.  It explains why he wanted to know what we were doing with the money he gave us. 

A bunch of notes from college.  Letters from Europe.  Boy can you tell what is important to someone by what they keep and carry around.  Mom is amazed.  I am touched, Mary-Elizabeth is tickled to see in what ways she is like her Grandfather. 

Alex continues to move boxes and sort and get ready for the estate sale.   I am just staying out of the way, taking those boxes he cares to share with me to sort through.  He and I are not having a good time doing this together but I hope we survive the process.  I guess it would be better if I kept my mouth shut.  I have clearly invaded sacred ground.  What a surprise, I have come into a space and taken over?  Sort of like an amoeba, if there is a space, I will fill it. We are both going to have to make space for each other.

I don't look at this process as a burden at all.  I am lucky to find myself with the gift of time to do this with our mom. Clearly my time here has not been seen as a good thing by my younger brother.  It does not make me want to go home but does make me sad. Belle and David can 't be here for very good reasons and I can. If nothing has become clear to me, how important it is to take advantage of such things as time with family.  I won't have much in the next couple of years when I start working again. So.....

I will move forward, work on the garden a bit, packing a bit. Walking with Mom and doing what I can to help her during this transition to her new life. 

I have even thought about asking for some bridge lessons.  Maybe?  As I read through things I realize we have lost this most important game.  Maybe it is time to re-capture that part of the past.

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